Seeing no way out **SH Trigger**

[Butterfly]

I know I have to... its just scary. I'll try to get into contact again as soon as possible xx

[Suzi]

Nothing to be scared of lovely. You won't be the first or the last time that they will have spoken to someone about them struggling with their mental health...

[Butterfly]

Definitely not. I think it's more the thought of getting judged or that my struggles/problems will be seen as too little or just something my mind makes up. Sadly have made bad experiences though I won't put bad experiences put me off seeing a therapist etc.
Or maybe it's because of being afraid that it'll stay like this forever even with help from someone.

[Suzi]

But your struggles are real and valid and deserved to be treated as such. You deserve to get the help you need to get brighter.

[Paula]

Or maybe it's because of being afraid that it'll stay like this forever even with help from someone.

a) it won’t stay like this forever. I know it feels like this now but there is ALWAYS a way through
b) you obviously haven’t been able to find that way through on your own and you won’t know what will help you until you ask for that help

[Mira]

I know how that feels. My problems are not that huge. My mind is playing tricks. I have that as well. And then the rare day where I am fine I think to myself: see, you are ok so stop being dramatic.

So thats why I want to say that from your posts you seem like someone that can have a rich full life. But is being held back by mental health issues. Is that a small thing? No not at all. And if another doctor tells you something like that tell that person to .........

I thought for years that I was ok and just had some problems. And they got worse. So I would like to say that the best time to seek help and get better is now.

[Butterfly]

Thank you all so much xx
A family friend (who's a doctor) now told me about a therapist I should contact, he's only available on Thursdays by phone to make a possible appointment for a talk, so I'll try to call him then.

I can totally relate to the mind playing tricks. Like I tell myself that no one's perfect and yet I so desperately want the life of someone else. They're famous? Cool, I want that too. They've got kids? Amazing, I want that too. They had them all natural? Cool, I want that too because so did they. They can sing?Fantastic, I want that as well. They've got a loving partner? Good, I want that too someday.
Funnily enough it's not about money for me but about... archivements I guess? Please don't think I'm weird and am trying to steal someone's life. I don't. I just want exactly what day have and exactly do what they do, otherwise I'll be very unhappy. And if it means to go through their struggles too then my mind says "So what? You're worthless anyway. You'll never be good enough."

I've got too much time on my hands as it seems. Going back to work will be even worse next week.

Thank you all SO MUCH though xx

[Suzi]

Have you thought about actually going to see your Dr and getting help and talking through options such as medication etc

Have you ever thought about the things that you have achieved?

[Butterfly]

I did that before and he said I should speak to a therapist about it, as he isn't specified in that area

I did try to think about what I archived but there isn't really anything special or good about it I feel

[Suzi]

Maybe it's because you don't see them as achievements? Do you play an instrument? Passed any exams in any subject? Can you touch type? How many languages do you speak? Do you enjoy doing exercise? etc