Seeing no way out **SH Trigger**

[Butterfly]

Thank you
I mean my life isn't bad apart from the mental health issues. I've got a lovely family, a safe home and we're financially stable. And I feel so guilty for saying this. But I wish I had someone else's life... which isn't a picture-perfect life either but I'd love to have the life of someone else. And not live this life I don't want... have all those thoughts I can't escape from. I hate this so so much. I feel like it only gets worse, I can't enjoy ANYTHING anymore and it breaks me. I wish I could at least stop caring about small issues but it just doesn't work out

[Suzi]

Is this "just" because of the depression or are there other things going on?

[Butterfly]

I'm not sure... I'm a massive worrier and can't make my mind shut up about the future. Instead of just letting things happen and enjoying them, and seeing what the future will bring, I already worry about things in like 10-20 years time. I have no idea where that orginates from but it's making me go mad. Maybe that's why I wish to simply lead somebody else's life

[Suzi]

Have you tried mindfulness or meditation at all?

[Paula]

Hunni, I don’t think having someone else’s life is going to stop you worrying. Most of us worry, I’m horrendous for that, it’s just how we manage that worry that matters. As Suzi says, mindfulness or meditation can be extremely beneficial. I only really started 18 months ago but it’s made such a difference for me

[Butterfly]

Yes I do some meditation in the evening, listening to relaxing stuff, and it definitely helps to calm me down and make me feel more relaxed. I also am occasionally doing the "5 things I can see etc" thing when my thoughts are overwhelming.

I'm glad it has helped others too, it's good to hear others having good experiences and help as well.

I mean I know that most people worry too. It's just that - I compared myself so much to others and whilst I know that this isn't a healthy way of thinking, it happens automatically. I see others, specifically celebs I like, and am thinking "Obviously they're satisfied and happy, look at how much they've archived. How good their life seems. How strong and brave they are. I'll never be like them." and no matter how hard I try to tell me that they've got struggles too, that not everything they do needs to me done by myself too, I don't get happier. I avoid looking at social medi at all but my head's still full of thoughts and they just increase esch day because deep down I know that I'll never be even close to being similar as them. I'll never be brave or archive anything to be pro of myself or others will admire. I'll never be good enough

[Paula]

You are already good enough, love. It breaks my heart to see someone my daughter’s age who thinks like that about themselves...

[Suzi]

Hunni, what you see in the media of the lives of celebrities isn't how things are. If it was then we wouldn't have lost legends like Robin Williams, Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, Kurt Cobain etc etc You never know the battles someone is having behind closed doors love....

[Butterfly]

I mean that's true and deep down I know that too - so many celebs have ended their life far too soon and no one knows how someone's truly feeling. And though I deep down know that, my mind can help and cause these thoughts to repeat over and over again in my head. It's like a little voice that holds me back from enjoying anything. Too much envy, too much comparing, never feeling like I actually did something well or good.

[Suzi]

Do you know where this all started? When you began to feel that you weren't as good as others etc?