Seeing no way out **SH Trigger**

[Butterfly]

I am. It's just such a huge struggle. Things don't improve immediately in the space of a few weeks but, I don't know either, it would be lovely to just feel something like a small joy. It's been music that made me joyful before and now it doesn't. I hate everything I used to love.
I don't know how long I can keep going like this. I just wish to curl up in my mum's arms like when I was younger and just cry it out until it stops.
On a postive note, I did manage to go for a walk today

[Suzi]

Why not try listening to something different? Have you told your Mum that you need to feel like that again?

Well done for getting out for a walk. Where did you go? What did you see?

[Butterfly]

I don't know.. it's hard to let things go that were the source of so much happy moments, and now my mind forbids me those things. I told her and she said she'll always be there to hug me and let me cry if I need to. She said no matter what age I am, I'll always be her little girl.
I walked past the forrest and past some fields, it's a lovely place there and I took several nice photos. We've still got some snow too so it was a lovely scene

[Paula]

My eldest is 23 and just buying her first house. I promise you that no matter how grown up she is, I will always be there for her whether she wants to cuddle up for hours, or bawl in my arms. No matter how old or grown up she gets. As your mum said, she will always be my little girl. That’s what mums should do, and it sounds like your mum wants to do that for your too. Btw, when I finally got help for my MH illness, it was because my mum frog marched me down to the doctors, did all the talking and refused to leave until I got that help. I was 27 with a 3 year old and a 3 month old. It didn’t matter how old I was, I needed my mum

[Flo]

Sounds like you have a great mum, and she's right you'll always be her baby and she wants the best for you. My daughter is 43 and still turns to me so she can have a good cry when things get tough. That's was good mums do....that's what they WANT to do. Nice that you took some photos.

[Suzi]

*Hi 5's your Mum* She's epic. Talk to her. Keep her involved - not only will it help you, but it'll help her too. Maybe talk through everything honestly with her or your Dad and take one of them with you to the Drs?
BTW it's not letting go of things that gave you joy, it's postponing them and trying to find other things to fill the gaps right now. You never know, you could find your next big passion....

Well done for the walk, sounds lovely.

[Butterfly]

I really am so grateful for my mum. I don't know what to do without her, she's such a huge support. It's good to hear that you all completely get what I mean and have been in similar situations... parents are just the biggest support out there ❤
I try and talk to her about everything that's going through my head even if it's not easy sometimes.
And yeah it might be true that I don't have to let go of the things I used to love completely. It just feels like that and that's what's upsetting. All that brought me joy has gone away and even if there might be a new passion somewhere, I still am missing the old things at the moment... xx

[Suzi]

Could you be trying too hard to find things to bring you joy, rather than seeing what things make you smile during the day?

[Butterfly]

Could be possible. It's just that I miss these things so badly and I want them to come back. Obviously nice weather or a good meal makes me feel good too but it's not the same. I miss any sort of joy in my life, that used to be there but isn't anymore. It's like looking through fog and knowing things are there but you can't see them anymore or reach them

[Suzi]

But pushing yourself, and trying to MAKE it be a positive is just never going to make it happen love. Sometimes you have to just accept how things are FOR NOW and then ride through to the better times. You're appointment is coming closer and that will help love. You've got this.