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Thread: Seeing no way out **SH Trigger**

  1. #11
    Mira
    Guest
    I always like to compliment people. There are many reasons why I do that. But all of them are sincere and they are always what I truly feel or think. So if you don't mind I would like to start with that

    Your English is so so so good. And from your posts I can tell you are a intelligent woman. In my experience the people that are in thoughts a lot tend to be that way. I think its awesome how you are working towards a goal and have dreams and hopes. Reading those even give me a good feeling.

    I can relate to the fear of being judged oh so well. And lots of people here can. One thing I am trying to learn through therapy and paying attention to myself is where is it coming from? The fear of being judged? And is it a true representation or is it being filtered by me. So I only hear the bad things? I agree with you that people judge. But on one level or another we all do. And thats part of being human. But there is a difference in how and why we judge.

    Like gossip. One thing I read in a paper got me thinking and I loved that idea. People seem to love to gossip. And this person said that a big reason of why we do it is to see how others react to it. If I say oh he is lazy. It could mean that people agree and that can validate me since I do not do it like him. So I am doing it right.

    I am losing my train of thoughts. Sorry about that.

    I did read that you are from Germany. So I would like to say that I think you should talk to your doctor about your mental health. There is a lot to gain from seeing someone about your fear of being judged. When I started therapy we discovered a lot together and now we are getting to a point where we can deal with some of my issues. I would love to see that for you as well. Because you have used the word fear a lot in your post. And that is holding you back. While you should be doing whatever you want to pursue with passion and not have fear weigh you down.

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Mira For This Useful Post:

    Flo (29-12-20),Paula (28-12-20),Strugglingmum (28-12-20),Suzi (28-12-20)

  3. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Location
    Nottingham
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    404
    Hi Butterfly and welcome to the forum.

    This is a very warm and supportive place and you will find plenty of support on here. It sounds like you are already doing well in reaching out and getting support - you should be very proud of this.

    Such severe anxiety is very difficult to live with and I feel for you. Have you tried mindfulness - this has helped me hugely with my anxiety.

    Take care and if you ever need to talk then this is a very safe place to do so.

  4. #13
    I've sadly been judged for several things before, no matter how small. It's good to hear that this place offers kindness and a good place to speak about things xx
    What's amateur dramatics may I ask? xx

    Thank you so much for all the compliments as well. It's a cood feeling to hear compliments when getting them so rarely. I definitely have dreams and goals and am sad that my fears are holding me back because it's not been like this last year or so. I have no idea about where it comes from... I think due to bullying in the past I'm afraid of getting judged, especially by people I like or look up to. When I see my idols I'm like "I want to be like them" and think if I never get to be like them (beautiful like them or brave/strong, doing many brave things) I'll forever end up unhappy. And I fear to be hated by people. It's definitely a good idea to speak to my doctor again... surely this can't go on like tjis forever. Thank you all so much for your help and welcoming me so warmly into the forum.
    Appreciating all the help so much! Anxiety and overthinking really is hard to live with and I'm longing for a more carefree and happier life. Thanks to all of you xx
    Last edited by Paula; 28-12-20 at 09:51 PM. Reason: Merged posts, please try not to double post in quick succession

  5. #14
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
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    Hampshire
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    It’s good to have people to look up to, that inspire us, but I believe we should always strive to be the best we can be, and not a copy of someone else

    “Amateur dramatics is theatre performed by amateur actors and singers. Amateur theatre groups may stage plays, revues, musicals, light opera, pantomime or variety shows, and do so for the social activity as well as the artistic side. Productions may take place in venues ranging from the open air, community centres or schools to independent or major professional theatres and can be simple light entertainment or demanding drama.”

    We have amateur dramatic societies in every town, village, city in the UK. Are there organisations like that near you?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  6. #15
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Surrey. UK
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    95,317
    You will always get a warm welcome here. We all have our own understandings....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  7. #16
    Welcome Butterfly! Hope to hear more from you.

  8. #17
    It's true but definitely hard. I see this seemingly good life and wish to do just what they do, follow my dreams and go for them without being stuck to being too worried about consequences. That must be beautiful.

    Amateur dramatics sound amazing! We do have several theatres in the town I live, in fact I believe that many of them do offer amateur dramatics - obviously not at the moment but before covid they did.

    The thing is, I always am overthinking things no matter how unrealistic they am and no matter what others say. I wish to leave my name in the world, do a book and perform on stage; it's what kept me going, it was a drive for live... to have dreams and goals that are big but make me work hard. Nowadays everything just seems hopeless. I hate my "job", my life that seems so senseless and every day is just a fight.
    The only thing that keeps me going ar the moment are my parents and my pets. I can't leave them. But life is so hard. Every day is hard. I don't want to get up, or eat, or do anything because I see no sense. I worry the whole day and no matter how I turn things, I'll end up unhappy.

    Thank you all for your warm welcome. Your help is so appreciated xx

  9. #18
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
    Location
    Surrey. UK
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    95,317
    I used to love being involved in Am Dram
    Why not make a start on writing a book?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  10. #19
    It definitely sounds like so much fun! ��
    I have given it a start several months ago and am so stuck with it at the moment. It's like my brain can't function to concentrate. My worries go from one to the next, once I'm "over" one worry, the next one immediately starts. I feel like I'll never be satisfied with myself, I'll always be the one who gives in and has nothing to be proud of. Other people manage such amazing things and are so strong and I just don't manage anything. I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to love again because of always seeing the bad things and feeling less worth, less strong, etc.

  11. #20
    Mira
    Guest
    Something a lot of us do is look at other people and see the succes and how well they are doing. But a lot of the times its what they want to show to the rest. We dont see the struggles they have. Or the mental health issues they are struggling with. And there will be people that look to you and say wow she has got it made. Getting a good education and good job. She has hobbies she wants to persue.

    People have told me that they think I have talent. But all I see is failure.
    So I think its best to look at ourselfs and just do. There is a person I follow online and he said once. If you wait around for motivation it will not happen by magic. But if you start the motivation will grow and be there.
    This is all easier said then done. But give it a go. If you want to write then go ahead and write. It does not have to be perfect the first go. Just write whats in your head.

    I think you are capable of a lot.

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