That sinking feeling

[Strugglingmum]

I'm glad you got sorted

[Suzi]

It's good that your sister is able to help love.. Take her up on that offer... Don't try to martyr through it....

[Paula]

She loves you hunni, accept her help

[Stella180]

Chest is feeling a bit crappy tonight. Hoping to dose off shortly though and get a good sleep. I can go to bed happy after Spurs won 1-4 even if the were dodgy for for 80 mins 3 scored 3 in the last 10mins. G’nite peeps.

[Flo]

Pleased you got your chest sorted.

[Paula]

Did you sleep ok?

[Stella180]

Yeah not too bad. Struggling to find the motivation to get outta bed though. Last week of having the car on the road but I can’t go anywhere cos of being on the steroids, although with lockdown I’d only be able to go the shops anyway. Everything is starting to get me down now.

[Suzi]

Things have been getting you down for a while love, I don't think you've recovered from things with the boys etc before this has hit you... If there's anything I can do to help, shout. Are you taking your inhalers properly now?

[Stella180]

Oh yeah, have been since before Christmas but I kinda screwed up for a couple of weeks before that. Hoping the steroids work.

[Stella180]

Things have been getting you down for a while love, I don't think you've recovered from things with the boys etc before this has hit you...

Been thinking about this since I read it. You’re right. I spend my whole life getting up after being knocked down and trying to move forward, shutting away all the difficult stuff that I can’t deal with in that moment and moving on the the next difficult situations that needs to be addressed. That is my life. It’s like wading out into the ocean, the water getting deeper and deeper until you can no longer touch the bottom and you’re treading water but then the waves get bigger and you get dragged under. Right now I’m tired and the sharks are circling.