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Thread: Bad episode of depression **SU Triggers**

  1. #1
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    Bad episode of depression **SU Triggers**

    Hi,

    I have suffered on and off with depression and anxiety since I was 20 (I am almost 34 now). Since February 2015 it has been well managed with the antidepressant Mirtazapine which stopped working. I have tried Escitaloprám which made things worse and I ended up going off sick from work for a month. I made the mistake of rushing back to work far too soon and after returning on reduced hours for 3 weeks I went off sick again and am now on week 6 of this current sickness.

    My medication has been changed to Venlafaxine which has made some improvements but I am still not feeling well and am still having to battle thoughts of ending my own life on a daily basis. I am terrified to go through with this for fear of botching it and ending up permanently disabled or even brain damaged.

    My energy levels are low and I am struggling to motivate myself to do anything productive and am just getting through each day.

    In the long-term I would like to get better and meet a nice girl to settle down with but I have no confidence with this and have never had a girlfriend. A close platonic female friend has offered to help me with online dating but I find this very intimidating. I have never had much trouble making friend or getting on with people but I don't have great social skills.

    I am now signed off work until 7th December but am dreading going back and having to face my colleagues who will have to pick up my work in the meantime. Going back unsuccessfully has knocked my confidence too. I work for a major public sector employer and the management have been very supportive which has helped.

    Sorry for the long post but this seems a really safe and supportive place to share my story.
    Last edited by Suzi; 25-11-20 at 09:03 AM. Reason: Adding SU trigger warning as per DWD standard practise.

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD. It's great that you've been keeping talking to your Dr about how you are feeling. Have you ever had any talking therapy?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi, hunni, and welcome. Im so sorry things are tough right now. How long have you been on Venlafaxine? ADs take, generally, 6-8 weeks to really start working, and the same again for dose increases. Were you planning on going back to work atm?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  4. #4
    Walker extraordinaire!
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    Hi and welcome. You're right this is a warm safe place to talk.
    You say you are just getting through each day but when you are so poorly, that's a fantastic achievement. Getting through is ok for now. You are exhausted fighting those battles in your head and you really need to rest, eat, plenty of fluids and try and get some fresh air every day, even just for 5 minutes.
    Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.

  5. #5
    Guardian of the North and kipper holder Angie's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome
    If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving.
    Quote by Martin Luther King JR

  6. #6
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    Hi, thanks so much for your lovely responses.

    I have been on Venlafaxine for just over 7 weeks - two weeks on 37.5 mg, the next two weeks on 75 mg, the next three weeks on 150 mg and from this week 225 mg. My GP says it can be increased further but only under the supervision of a psychiatrist.

    With regards to returning to work I would dearly love to return soon - I quite enjoy my job and going to work and making a positive contribution to a vital public service gives me a lot of job satisfaction. As I said previously I have already made the mistake of rushing back to work too quickly but I am acutely aware that I cannot wait to get up to 100% before going back.

    I have had six counselling sessions which have been arranged through the Employment Assistance Program - some of it was helpful and some not so much.

    I am lucky I have numerous good friends who have been very supportive - one close friend in particular has been just wonderful.

  7. #7
    Hi and welcome! once your AD's have kicked in, you'll feel heaps better. Keep posting and share the load.

  8. #8
    Welcome to DWD

  9. #9
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    So glad you've got supportive friends.
    You've had a few meds changes without it having chance to adjust properly so it's going to take a while and probably be a bit rough for a little while. Can you be kind to you whilst it's helping? Maybe focus on the basics for a while so getting up, getting dressed, eating and drinking properly and trying to get some exercise and be as social as you can too?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  10. #10
    Mira
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    Welcome here. So nice to meet you.

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