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Thread: Bad episode of depression **SU Triggers**

  1. #11
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    I have spoken to my GP this afternoon and she has advised that I have to give the dosage until 7th December to work and we can assess then whether I am fit to return to work and whether the dosage needs to be increased further.

    I can see some light at the end of the tunnel - it has been a tough few months.

    Meeting a special someone and perhaps even getting married is my long-term ambition but I am not sure whether that is possible. I have seen other posts on here about loneliness so I know it is difficult. I have always thought that no-one would ever want me which is what depresses me more than being single.

  2. #12
    Mira
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    That was a good conversation you had with the GP I think? And its so true. Give the meds the chance to do what they are supposed to do.

    I like your long term goal. I have the same and its a nobel one. I am single and I feel lonely a lot. But in my last serious relationship I have felt lonely too.

    And I know what you mean with no one would ever want you. To be honoust I feel that about myself too. But try to also see the realistic side of it? You can question yourself if you want. When you think that ask yourself is that really true?

    You are coming across as a perfectly fine nice young gentleman. Thats not in the best of places at the moment. I am 100% convinced there is a lovely lady out there for you as well.

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  4. #13
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hunni, my husband had depression, anxiety, social phobia and undiagnosed aspergers syndrome before I knew him. I fell in love with him. He's had 2 breakdowns and we've been to hell and back quite a few times. We're still together and have been for almost 22 years and I love him more today than I ever have done. Having ill mental health does not make you unlovable! You just haven't met the right person yet....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #14
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    There’s been so many times over the years when I’ve been convinced my husband would be better off without me, that he surely couldn’t love me given how vile I thought I was, and that he was only with me because he felt sorry for me and was too kind to leave me. None of which is true. In fact, the opposite is true. He tells me that he is proud of me every day because I fight, that I’m the strong one for getting through what I do and that he loves me even more because of it. The right person, hunni, will say the same to you.
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  7. #15
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    Thanks so much for all of your lovely responses - it does raise my spirits.

    My mood really dipped last night and I felt very unwell and was having suicidal thoughts. I have managed to get a good night's sleep - the Venlafaxine causes me to have very vivid and lucid and frankly weird dreams. I therefore woke up feeling quite upset just after 9 and still have not bothered getting up.

    I do feel quite low today but not as bad as I was feeling a few weeks ago. I can see some light at the end of the tunnel but it will take a little time to get there.

    Your lovely responses do give me hope of meeting someone one day.

  8. #16
    I'm glad you're feeling a bit more cheery now. When your meds kick in properly I think you'll feel so much better. I was on some antibiotics a few weeks ago and I had some weird dreams too..I was so pleased to wake up..haha! We're all here for you to chat to. When the time is right you'll find someone that's just right for you.

  9. #17
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Did you reach out to anyone when you were having those thoughts? There's always the Samaritans by phone, or SHOUT by text (text 85258 it's free and available 24/7)?
    Have you managed to get up? Eat? Drink? Medicate?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  10. #18
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    Hi, thanks again for your lovely responses - I spent most of the morning in bed and then got up and had a late breakfast and had to have a nap after taking my Venlafaxine as it made me tired.

    I am reading a self help book on depression which I hope will be helpful.

    I had to go and get prescriptions - I also have Diazepam to help with my anxiety and some Zopiclone also to help me sleep as and when needed.

    I am finding my days off work go in quite quickly. I have signed up to Disney plus to watch The Simpsons (I stopped watching at Season 23 almost 9 years ago so have many episodes to catch up on!). I am also reading a Stephen King book too and have a stack of DVD films to watch.

    The Samaritans are a wonderful organisation - I have been in regular contact with them through email in the last 3 months. I have also signed up to donate to them on a regular basis.

  11. #19
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    What's the Stephen King book you're reading?
    It's great that you are in contact with the Samaritans. They really are fabulous.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  12. #20
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    The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon - I am really enjoying it.

    The Samaritans are indeed fabulous - really kind people who ensure that everyone has someone they can turn to. I feel I can say things to them I cannot to other people.

    I am still having suicidal thoughts but do not feel I can tell anyone in person. I told a close friend at work in August who immediately and rightly told my line manager. Both were hugely supportive - my line manager took me out for a drink at a local pub where we talked things over and she offered numerous ways to further support me. This is something I still feel embarrassed about.

    I do not think I want to die but I do not feel I have great deal to live for but I do not want to devastate people close to me. My Mum has already lost her husband (my Dad) to cancer and I am the only decent person she has and can count on. It would also devastate a number of close friends. I am also so scared of botching an attempt and leaving myself permanently disabled.

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