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Thread: Carer nearing the beginning of the end.

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    You may steal it Although I might charge copywrite

    I haven't met up with any of my friends from secondary school since I had to use sticks, then a rollator walker (he's called Wally and is amazing, my husband then built me one to go off road - her name is Eva and she can help me to paddle in the sea, go out through woods etc) and now I'm on crutches as I messed up my knee before Christmas and it's just not healing...
    Has she thought of joining any online support groups? I'm part of a couple of awesome ones.
    Also, I've found owning my disabilities helps me. I'm now not so embarrassed, although I'm always apprehensive about meeting people from my past as I'm very far from the Suzi they knew 30 years ago or so... New people I find easier - what you see is what you get - although I have lots of cognitive issues too now which are frustrating as hell. I'm an extrovert too, my husband has clinical depression, anxiety, social phobia and paranoia - he's had full on panic attacks where ambulances have been called etc. The best thing that ever happened to him was a change in medication and a psychotherapist who was fabulous.

    Have you talked about her getting some kind of help? Some of her symptoms might be exacerbated by something simple like a vitamin D deficiency.. Could you use something like that to talk to her?
    Hi Suzi,

    Sorry to hear about your knee - hopefully you can find a way to make it come good. Sorry to also hear about your husband.

    Your response is great because it brings up another area that is a problem.

    No, she's never joined an online support group and has never even looked for one as far as I know. She hates the idea of anything like that, she feels "she's not one of you". There is an amount of denial going on. For example when we fly somewhere she hates that all the disabled people are put together before or during the flight. Other people can take this kind of thing in her stride, she cannot and it eats away at her. It would be great to have details of the ones you are part of. Not sure if you can list them here or if you can private message me. She has said many times that she takes things really personally, recognising the problem is half the battle!

    I can't talk to her about getting some sort of help - this is the main problem. I think I need to arrange something with the GP etc as people are suggesting. She's outside in the garden all the time in summer and has only just stopped going outside regularly in the last 7 days. she must be coked up to the eyeballs on vitamin D. We have a really good diet and she's an excellent cook. This is one of the few areas that she still has confidence in.

    Thanks for the words, keep em' coming.

  2. #12
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Surrey. UK
    Actually one of the best is a facebook group for a particular brand of leggings which are bright, colourful and fabulous. I wear their active range as it holds my knees, hips, back in a much better place than without them This is the support group and it's full of runners, those who want to run, those who are gym members, those who aren't, it's just a wonderful group of people who just are able to be there for each other!

    The mentality of accepting that you have a disability is not easy.... But it can help. What about things like meditation? Tai Chi? Mindfulness?
    Wibble, wobble, jelly on a plate...

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