Is this a relapse

[Suzi]

I agree, you shouldn't wait. You aren't a nuisance at all!

[shine]

Thank you. I just put a request in. They have a good online system where you can write a message for the Dr and even request which Dr you would like a call from and if it's urgent or not. I'm feeling nauseous and shaky and I said I would like a call back asap. I explained the tablets aren't helping me sleep and I'm really struggling with low mood, pain and tinnitus. Hopefully it won't be long. I really don't feel like going out shoe shopping today. Maybe can do that another day. It can wait. I suggested we could try to go out for the eat out to help out so will see if we can do that tonight

[Flo]

Lack of sleep is horrible, and it's hot at night at the moment which doesn't help. Never feel bad for contacting your GP..they need to know.
Just a couple of things to bear in mind which may help with the lack of sleep....stop drinking anything with caffeine in after 4pm..coke is the biggest culprit! Also, try not to go to sleep straight after watching tele. Reading for a bit before putting your head on the pillow sometimes helps. It works for me. I'm not a daytime napper - wish I could be - I feel punch drunk afterwards then I can't sleep at night....it's a swine!!

[shine]

I've come back to bed now. Not sure if I will sleep. I just can't do anything. Not going out now or tonight. I'm feeling nauseous and dizzy. I'm waiting for gp to call. I am making sure to drink water incase I'm dehydrated.
I know what you mean about daytime napping Flo.
Right now I feel like I can't do anything. I feel mentally and physically drained. Loud noise is getting to me and a house behind ours is blasting loud music in their garden again. I've had to shut my window because it's getting to me but it's too hot. Every little thing is getting to me. I feel very irritable. I hope this feeling passes soon

[shine]

Dr just called. I'm shaking and was holding back tears. She's doing me a referral to the mental health team as I don't think she knows what to do. She suggested maybe restarting me on venalfaxine but I told her I'm scared to because of the side effects I experienced last time. I was on it for 5 years. She said she doesn't know how long it will be till the MH team call me but if I get worse I should go to A&E. I'm petrified. So much is coming back from last time. I know this time is different. I have a supportive work environment. But there is so much triggering and I can't stop this. Im trying hard to remember the CBT I learnt all those years ago but I can't do it. she asked me if I had harming thoughts. I said no because I know I won't do anything stupid. But so many times I keep getting thoughts coming in my head that I have had enough and want to end this. But I know that's not me talking. It's the depression and I don't mean it. I just don't want to live like this. I feel I'm just existing but not for me. I'm so unhappy. I find it too too difficult to tell anyone this. It's much easier to write these thoughts down. Im sorry to keep going on. I don't know who to talk to. The Dr couldn't stay on the phone long

[Paula]

Ok, hunni, just breathe. You’ve been referred and hopefully the MH team will be in touch soon. The dr just mentioned venlafaxine - that doesn’t mean anyone will force you to take it. There are plenty of other ADs that work that may help you. If you really don’t want venlafaxine, then tell them that.

If you’re having thoughts, it’s always important to tell those who are looking after you - whether you think you would do anything about them or not. So next time someone asks, tell them. And if you need to go to A&E, tell them. When you speak to the MH team, tell them. And, lovely, you need to tell your family what’s going on......

[Suzi]

Can I ask you a blunt question? Could the shaky, dizzy and nausea all be due to anxiety rather than anything else more physical? Are you eating? Drinking properly?
WRT the neighbours loud music I totally sympathise (one set of our neighbours is almost always blasting either full on Bhangra or cheesey pop) but I've found putting some music I like on helps me to focus on that, rather than the sounds from outside. They also have young children who scream an awful lot...

Paula's right. You do have to start talking to those around you about how you are truly feeling. You have the options of A+E, the Samaritans, you can text SHOUT (Text shout to 85258) for additional support. You need to use them.

I know you're tired and feeling rough, the heat isn't going to be helping that. It hit 36 again down here today and last night it dropped to 29 so I totally get lack of sleep and it just being all consuming heat, restless, nausea etc due to heat - I know it's not the same, but you aren't alone lovely.

You can do this.

[shine]

Thank you Paula and Suzi. My dh knows how I feel. I broke down in tears to him before. He knows I won't do anything stupid even if I have said it or felt it. He's made sure I have eaten something. I can't stomach much so he made me a plain potatoe with butter and I had an ice lolly.
I don't know how you are coping in 36c. I think you are right about the heat not helping. We aren't used to extreme heat. I'm supposed to be in work tomorrow but if I'm feeling like this then I can't go in. Everyday is different. Today is a particularly bad day. Tomorrow is another day and I'm taking one day at a time.
I definitely do need to sort my meds out. I've been on duloxetine for about 2-3 months and I've not noticed anything. Venalfaxine did work last time but the side effects and withdrawal was tough.
I'll call Samaritans if I am struggling later. Suzi you may be right about anxiety.

[Suzi]

What was the problem with the venlafaxine? It's been an absolute game changer for Marc...

[Strugglingmum]

You are so right. Tomorrow is another day. I'm so glad you have a mh referral and I hope it wont be too long. Have you tried any mindfulness apps or meditation videos on YouTube? I know they helped take the edge of my anxiety a bit to let me relax a bit, if not sleep.