Is this a relapse

[Jaquaia]

Says who?

Suffering is subjective, what bothers one person won't affect another but that doesn't mean our worries aren't valid. Disease and displacement do not mean that you aren't allowed to be affected by what happens in your life.

Be kind to you today, counselling can often make things feel worse before they get better

[shine]

Thank you Jaquaia. You are right.
Obviously I want to feel better which is why I'm trying hard to help myself. I also know that depression and anxiety aren't pleasant and it's not my fault. I can't help how I am feeling. It's the depression talking when I say I want to give up and I don't want to live this life anymore. Of course I want to be here for my family and watch my kids grow up. I often feel like I am existing for them. I don't feel much pleasure or happiness in myself at the moment

[Flo]

Yes, give counselling a chance. I think we have to strip ourselves bare to start with - this helps you and your counsellor - but then both of you can start to rebuild again from scratch and the positivity starts to kick in. Things will get better. But we have to start with something even though that 'something' can be painful. Hang on in there shine.

[Paula]

Jaq’s right, it’s really important that you give yourself time and space after counselling - its really hard work. But it will be worth it

[Stella180]

I always felt worse immediately after counselling and would take myself out for something nice as a reward. It would take several days for me to pick myself up again and it was so hard. I was convinced it wasn’t working but the people around me started to notice a change. Stick with it and try to allow yourself time to heal after your sessions.

[Suzi]

The others are right. Stick with it and be kind to you. But starting with the basics - getting up, showered, dressed, eating the right amount and drinking enough (not alcohol ) WILL help...

[shine]

Another rubbish night sleep. Took me ages to get to sleep mainly because of the storm. Then I woke up after about an hour. I've now been awake since around 5.30 and couldn't get back to sleep. This is draining. On the positive I contacted a friend I hadn't seen for ages and she came on a walk with me yesterday afternoon which was really lovely. Really helps seeing people and talking.

[Strugglingmum]

I'm sorry your sleep is so poor. Does your doctor know how bad your sleep is? I'm only asking because for me, not sleeping is a huge stumbling block to recovery. It wasnt until I finally started to get some sleep that my brain was able to process things better. It might be worth letting your dr know that you are still struggling with your sleep and it's becoming a huge issue.
I'm so pleased for you to start counselling. It is also exhausting and can feel as if it doesn't change anything. Its good to talk, it helps you get things straight in your own head. It doesn't change anything right away but gives you the tools you need to rebuild your life and leave behind the things that are dragging you down, or learn to cope with them better.

Well done for reaching out to a friend....that is really tough to do sometimes. You are doing so well. This is the time for basics. Wash and dress, eat, rest, drink lots of fluids, take your meds and build in something that you enjoy. You may not enjoy it right now but my CPN used to tell me, keep doing it, someday you will find it starts to make you smile again. Keep going, you will get through this and you will find peace again

[shine]

My gp knows about my sleep. I'm taking the antihistamine promethazine hydrochloride which was given to me as a sleep aid. The Dr increased it to two tablets and it's still not helping. I feel such a nuisance everytime I put a phone request in for my gp. At the moment it's weekly and I feel they must be getting fed up with me. I'm waiting for a blood test result from Friday so I thought I would wait a few days before requesting a call. About 3 months ago the Dr gave me one week of zopiclone but refused to give me anymore because it's addictive. I was on this years ago and I remember it's hard to come off.
My headache is creeping up on me so I've just taken some codydramol. I'm not sure if this is helping. I'm really fed up. Supposed to be taking dd school shoe shopping this afternoon. I'm dreading it. DH is coming with as it's too much on my own. I'm attempting to do some work now but it's so hard to concentrate.

[Paula]

You’re not a nuisance - that is what your GP is there for, after all. Please don’t wait too long for your blood results and please, please talk to the doctor at the same time about your sleep. You cannot manage, no one can, on so little sleep. I’d suggest you try to call today - ask if the bloods are back and ask for a call back if they are; if they’re not, try again tomorrow.