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Thread: Chink of light in the darkness

  1. #1
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Chink of light in the darkness

    It’s been really tough to see my way out of any of the rubbish that’s come my way recently. I’m getting there but it’s still an uphill struggle, not helped by the fact that I’m feeling like this mainly because of meds - and it’s therefore out of my control. And I’ve been angry, which is not an emotion I feel comfortable with. But yesterday I was able to spend an evening with my baby girl, and that felt wonderful (until she left, and I cried), and I’m going to try to hold onto that chink of light

    And Si and I have decided I’m stopping the Topiramate - I haven’t heard from neurology and I’m done waiting, I need to get better. It may be the wrong decision but it can’t be any worse than what’s already happened ....
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  2. #2
    So glad you had a good time with your lass. How long was she with you? I’m sure it wasn’t enough and it must have been devastating for you not being able to hug her. When do you see her again?
    As for your meds I’m not sure what the best thing is to do. Obviously stopping meds without doctors instruction isn’t advised however in your situation staying on the meds is a cause of greater anguish so I totally get why you came to that decision.
    How is that troublesome pooch of yours doing? Does he like his new bed that you upgraded for him?

  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Katie’s working 8-6 this week so I think she’ll be too tired to pop over again, hopefully will see her at the weekend.

    Jax is sooooooo energetic! He’s hilarious . He loves his new bed - it lives outside the study so he can be close to Si even when he’s working lol
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  4. #4
    So he’s a mans dog then? How are you spending your days?

  5. #5
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    He’s absolutely hero worshipping Si, racing up and down the stairs after him. Don’t get me wrong, he loves me and Jess but Si is his world

    I’m doing what I can each day. It’s not much but it’s more than I was managing last week
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  6. #6
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Paula, I think you're amazing. You are sounding more coherent than you have done. I think that under the circumstances I totally understand why you want to stop the top, and I'm glad you've talked it through with Si. You are both sensible and I know you won't have come to this decision lightly, but your body can only handle so much at once and maybe this is just too much right now?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  7. #7
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Si had been waiting for me to ask him what he thought - he wanted me to come off it a week ago! And yep, definitely too much right now. Everything hurts
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  8. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    You can only cope with so much. Even wonderwoman would have crumbled before now with what you're going through.....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    Paula (02-06-20)

  10. #9
    Paula is Wonder Woman!

  11. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I’ll take that! Gal Gadot
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (03-06-20)

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