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Thread: Worried about dosage incr *SU/AB Trigger*

  1. #11
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I completely agree that losing someone is so painful. Is the damage irreconcilable?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  2. #12
    thank you for understanding! I would like to talk about my loss if thats okay?

  3. #13
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Of course its ok
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  4. #14
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Of course....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #15
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    You can talk about anything here
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  6. #16
    Thank you all I met this amazing guy last year and my life was never the same after that. He's caring, thoughtful, sweet, funny, very smart and super cute. I actually met him at work and spent six months working next to him and he helped me improve my skills so much. But when I was made redundant, we got the chance to see each other. We had some great memories, cooked together, movies, lots of fun dates. And everything was going so well for the next couple of months and then suddenly, he lost his job. He went on a holiday to new zealand for a month to escape everything and i decided to tell him how I feel when he came back. Whilst dealing panic attacks and anxiety as I didnt know what was going to happen between us. He came back and I told him how I felt and he said he felt the same way but we wouldnt be able to go any further since he had to move back to Hertfordshire with his parents until he sorts his life out. Now oxford o herforshire takes 1.5 hours and I didnt think it was impossible. We both drove and had cars and we were mature enough to make things work but he didnt think it would work out and that it would end bad since cause years and years ago, he was with someone for 3 years and when they had to make it long distance, things fell apart. So he thought he could predict the future and sad things will end badly. Whereas, I thought that things could still fall apart if you were with someone who lived 5 mins away from you. I tried to give him options but he didn't think it would work and I had no option but to let him go. We spent one last weekend together and that was it. We didnt pour our hearts out, we didn't really say goodbye but I let his flat knowing that was the last i'd see him and I immediately went into grieving. I hated myself, I hated everyone else and I wanted to ruin the happiness of others as I didn't think it was fair, because life wasn't fair to me. I never had to chance to tell him I loved him. It was been hell since that weekend.

  7. #17
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Oh hunni that's horrible... Have you thought about sending him a text or email or something to see how he is or just to keep options open?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #18
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    It sounds to me that he didnt cope with losing his job very well which was why he pushed you away. However, there is a chance that time and space has made him rethink things so, as Suzi says, maybe its worth keeping in touch with him as friends - and seeing how things go?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  9. #19
    Well the last I spoke to him was the start of the corona virus breakdown when I asked him if he was alright since I saw on the news that two people in Hertfordshire were infected. But otherwise I havent spoken to him. It's been so so hard to accept it all since we both had feelings for each other and I knew I was the only girl he had gotten close since his last (and only)relationshio which was 4 or so years ago. We really understood each other and I'm embarrassed to admit this but one time, we went to see the fireworks during November time and he ended up having a dodgy hotdog and when we went back to his flat, he immediately had a tummy ache. I've had food poisoning before and it was the worse thing ever and I was so worried that might have it. He had no paracetamol or anything and so I rushed out in my car quickly before the shops closed and got him the meds and left him there to rest up. Then a week later, I got a speeding ticket from that night, where I had driven so fast to make sure I gt him the painkillers. That event is just bittersweet. And Paula, you are right, he didnt cope with his job loss well and he wasnt very good at being open and I knew he tried to put up walls around me but they didnt last with me. So I really had an affect on him but cause of everything going on, he couldnt cope. He also had to rent his flat, which he had to fix up before he moved back to Hertfordshire. So I understand he was going through a lot. But I couldnt be friends with him, I love him. I told him I didnt wanna lose him and he just hugged me close to him. He wasn't good at expressing his feelings but i knew by his actions. There hasnt been a day since when I dont think about him. He's made me such a better person and he's part of my daily life. I have one picture of us together from when we worked together but thats it. A part of me does understand his decision as in our last weekend together, I saw a notebook on his kitchen with a list of things he had to do for the flat, get bulbs, curtains etc. and the last thing on the last was written in capitals: "SORT YOUR LIFE OUT JOE". So he did have a lot going on but we still really liked each other. The whole thing is just so tragic and my feelings for him hasnt changed at all. If i had the chance to live the last 8 or so months again with him knowing how it will end, i'd do it again without any second thoughts

  10. #20
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Playing devils advocate... Men don't tend to talk openly about their feelings - be they positive or negative... They also seem to have a "male pride" thing of having to be able to provide etc etc.... Sweetheart if you still feel like that then tell him... At least you'd know one way or another...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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