Talia’s weigh in was the highlight of my day. Even though I had seen for myself the changes from day one I certainly didn’t imagine the loss was that drastic and I know that is mostly down to getting her thyroid sorted but it’s great to see it on the scales. I love that little snuggle monster so much and I guess it feels good to know that I’ve done something right by her.
Since then there have been tears this afternoon. Just a little over emotional. Thinking about all sorts of stuff. I need to call the estate agents and try and get this valuation sorted for Legal Aid ASAP. I’m desperate to see my boys again. I know it’s difficult at the moment anyway but I miss them so much it hurts. It’s been 17 months since I spent any meaningful time with them. I know many families are finding it hard being apart due it this virus for the parts couple of months and that is just a taste of what my life has been for so long. There aren’t words to describe how broken I feel. Some people think that because I don’t talk about them much I don’t care but it’s the opposite. I can’t talk about them cos it hurts too much but sometimes I can’t hide away from the reality, distract from the truth and it all comes flooding out and I can’t control it. I can’t breathe, I feel completely drained, can’t do anything but cry and I know I need to be stronger, that I have to bury that pain and fight for my family all over again.
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