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Thread: When is it gonna be my turn?

  1. #1

    When is it gonna be my turn?

    I’ve had an horrendous few weeks. Oh how am I kidding it’s been a lot longer than that but the past few weeks have pretty much broken me. I don’t really know where to start I just know I can’t do this on my own anymore.

    I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I may be an independence person but I’m fed up with having to deal with so much on my own. I just want somebody to care about me for a change but everyone else is a priority over me. I’m only good for what I can give and then I’m on my own again. I will admit I’m not the best when it comes to opening up about my feelings but that’s in part because in my family nobody really cares about my feelings. It’s like I’m more of an inconvenience (unless someone needs a favour) so nobody thinks to ask about how I’m doing.

    I don’t even know if coming back here is a good idea but I’m running out of options and I just need to vent.

  2. #2
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hey, lovely, it’s good to see you back . First thing, you are not broken - you are far too strong for that. That doesn’t mean that you’re not hurting, your last few weeks have been particularly hard, but that I know you’ll get through. Saying you need support and you can’t do this alone takes courage, and I’m proud of you for doing that
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  3. #3
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Good to see you back! You're stronger than you think though
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

  4. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Welcome home love.

    Hunni, you aren't broken. You are valued and loved and cared about. Things have been tough for a while and with everything with what's going on right now is going to add to everyone's issues...
    I agree, you saying you need support is huge for you and I'm so proud of you...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #5
    This may sound a bit selfish but I feel it’s justified.

    My sister has always run around after everyone else but doesn’t give me a second though. She was the one who helped drive a rift between me and my brother after my dad died not that she has ever accepted responsibility for her part in it. She has however been amazing in helping him and his partner out during his illness and I respect her for that. She did the same for our Mum and is so much more than I could’ve handled. I’ve now lost both parents, and my brother. Now it’s just me and her but I feel like I don’t ever exist.

    My brothers partner has 4 adult children and 12 grandkids many of those old enough to be classed as adults. She is not short of support. However, my sister has practically been living with her since my brothers death because she feels lonely. Again honourable actions from my sister but what us? Her epileptic husband, who I learned last night is going to hospital this week for testing related to prostate cancer, or her children one of whom has had to deal with the death of someone else close to him shortly before my brother passed, or me as I am completely on my own and have no other family to lean on.

    I might be the strong independent type but I’ve got so much going on right now and the one immediately family member I have left can’t find the time to call or pop round (considering she lives in the next street) to check up on me. I hate that everyone else is thought more important than me and even when she is told that I’m struggling I get a couple of hours of her time over a meal out and that’s it. No follow up. Nothing. I’ve felt like an outsider my whole life and that’s because I am. I just want someone to put me first for a change. To be there for me when I need someone. To just talk about what’s going on. My family have never really known who I am cos they’ve never bothered to try and understand me.

    She did contact me last night. To ask if I would drive her and her hubby to the hospital appointment because she doesn’t like driving. When I told her I was self isolating due to coronavirus I got a simple “ok”. I had to push to find out why they had to go to hospital and she didn’t even think to ask if there is anything I needed. For someone so thoughtful and caring of others she does a good job of making me feel inferior.

  6. #6
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm not defending her, but you do come across as someone who is strong and that you just get on and deal with everything. You don't often ask anyone for help or open up to how you are feeling. Could it be that she actually doesn't realise you're struggling?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  7. #7
    Suzi you know what happened when you spelt it out for her. It’s always been the same.

  8. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm sorry hunni... Have you asked her?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  9. #9
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    This is why I’m so glad you’ve come back to the family who does care about you
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (18-03-20)

  11. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    How are you doing, lovely? How is Talia? Having fun with her?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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