Chapter 2: the book addict rejoins the world

[Paula]

Hunni, you’re getting what you’ve wanted for so long, can you try to focus on that?

[Jaquaia]

I'm trying but how am I meant to take it when he seems to be reluctant to introduce me to the people who are important to him? When even though he knows it's starting to upset me, he still drags his feet and avoids doing anything about it?

At the moment I just feel like I'm wrong to feel like I do about anything

[Mira]

I dont think your feelings are wrong. It is what you feel. And you can discribe them really well. I am sure you brought it up with him. And what did he say about it?

[Suzi]

I can empathise with that so much. Have you asked him?

[Jaquaia]

He says he's just poorly organised...

[Mira]

I have a feeling you do not truly believe that to be true?

[Jaquaia]

I don't doubt it with him, I've seen what he's like with other things. But when I know my inaction is upsetting someone, I do everything I can to change things.

[Mira]

I see what you mean. I can relate to that. I am the same way. Maybe after you meet them it can go a lot better.

[Paula]

Si doesn’t do things the way I do, doesn’t feel the things I do. He’ll readily admit he struggles with empathy and other people’s feelings don’t impact him - except where it affects those he loves. I’ve struggled with this over the years and I’ve often been upset by his reaction to a situation. But he’s my husband and we’ve had to work through that. That doesn’t mean, though, that I just accept his reaction and behaviour without challenging him on it, and over the years that behaviour has slowly changed. We are both better people because we’ve had to deal with this - he’s a bit more empathetic and I’m a bit less likely to get emotional and angry.

Jaq, you have to challenge him on this, you have to say it’s not right. He won’t ever learn otherwise and your relationship may suffer

[Jaquaia]

I've lot count of the number of times I've challenged him on this