Chapter 2: the book addict rejoins the world

[Jaquaia]

I haven't actually got my laptop out yet...

Well... next Saturday I'm going out for lunch with J, his parents and the children... to say I'm already nervous is the understatement of the century...

[Suzi]

OO where are you going?
I can understand you being nervous, but.... You know he loves you, his parents love you and that you are going to be loved by the children! You could take them something to start a conversation about - a book on something or a model of something etc? Might break the ice?

[Mira]

That would leave me nervous too. But I am in no way worried about next saturday for you. J loves you to bits and as I recall his parents are big fans too. You are the breath of fresh air that family needed after that trainwreck of an ex.

You are great.

[Jaquaia]

We're going here https://www.facebook.com/fiddledrill/

We were talking about it at lunch today and his mum said it might be better just telling him what we're doing as he'll dither and avoid things out of stress. So that's the plan. He can pick me up after Abbie's dance class and his parents will meet us there after Thomas's hair cut. His dad has asked Thomas how he feels about meeting me and he said he's ok with it. His mum just said about keeping displays of affection to a minimum as Cruella is always kissing and cuddling with this new guy and Thomas doesn't like it. To be fair, I'm not an idiot. Cruella and her new guy may think it's acceptable for him to be staying over when he's only just met them and looking after them before they've had chance to get used to him, but I actually think about others before myself and aren't about to be all over their dad at first meeting!

[Paula]

When Katie’s step mum was due to meet her, step mum was terrified that this 3 year old was going to reject her out of hand so she decided to take some sweets with her. She held out her hand and said to Katie ‘hi, I’m Paula’, to which Katie responded ‘no you’re not that’s my mums name and you’re not my mum!’ Paula just shoved the sweets at Katie in panic. Despite that little hiccup, the meeting went really well and they’ve been the best of friends ever since.

You don’t have that issue and I’m confident that your meeting them will go really well, and you’ll become best of friends with both of them

[Jaquaia]

I'm scared. All I keep hearing is how Thomas is an unhappy little boy at the moment and it makes me wonder how he'll react to someone else coming in and taking up his dads attention and the fact that he's waited so long to introduce me hasn't helped things.

I should be able to meet them twice before Christmas and I've been debating buying them a book but would that be too much? They both love books and it would only be a few pounds each but then I'm doubting myself. My reasoning behind it is to show them I care enough to have learned about them, I know they both love books, gifting books makes me happy too but I can't help thinking it's too much and I'll be accused of trying to buy them... I bought by sisters step-children after meeting them roughly the same amount of times so it's not something out of character for me. And his mum and dad bought me a birthday present after meeting me once! I'm just constantly questionning my reasoning and driving myself crazy in the process

[Mira]

It is good that you share this with us. We might not be able to take your doubts away but we can say what we think about it. If you do not mind.

I think its nice that you are hearing a lot about how things are for them. But I truly believe that you are going to do best if you are yourself. I think this is not going to be easy for any of you. But as soon as they get to know you and see that things are not forced it will relax. I am sure they will notice if you do things to adapt to suit others. Even more if its something you would never do. So my advice would really be just be you.

That goes for the gift too. When I think of you the thought of books is not far behind. And if they love books its a good way to connect to them. Thats not buying them. That is sharing something everybody likes.

[Suzi]

My first thought is that the place you are going seems very grown up. But actually I think you getting them something would be great. I think it would show you care, show you know what they like and are into and also wanted to talk to them too... They are going to be just as nervous as you. Remember you're amazing.

[Jaquaia]

They've been there several times and really like the cake from there which is why his mum suggested it I think.

[Suzi]

Everybody likes cake! The cake does look good!