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Thread: Thank you / serious help

  1. #1

    Thank you / serious help

    Hello everybody
    I would love to give everyone a big thank you for thier comments left on one of my threads i produced last week.
    The comments have really helped me .
    When i read over the comments left by people on this fourm the comments helped me see i was putting to much pressure on my self.
    I realise now i been wanting a relationship to make my llfe more interesting and to stop feeling lonely all the time.
    I talked to my friend recently . I leanrt she is on a gap year and another one of my friends is one a gap year .
    I am going to the gp on tuesday or wednesday to get more information about depression.
    There is a lot about this condition i dont understand . The NHS website and various websites are not helping me understand.
    My experience is not typical of someone who experiences.
    I am not crying or depressed everday however i do have feelings of permissim, self doubt , sometimes i dont want to be here anymore and i feel the world is better off without me . These feelings are difficult to get rid off . I function so well. I can get out of bed, i can enjoy things and have good days.
    Sometimes i feel like my depression is fake and not authentic enough .
    Hence the recluntance to seek help.

  2. #2
    Hi, I know how that feels. I have that too. And I bet most of us have that from time to time. When I have a few days where everything is going easier and the darkness is not to be found I feel like a fraud. Why I am complaining? People are worse off then me. I am even enjoying myself.

    But this tells us not that we are ok and we are faking it when things are ok. It tells us and me that we are not doing well and we could use help to make sure we have even more of those days. And maybe even get rid of most of the bad days. Your complaints are not fake. They are more then valid.

    But you are a good person that deserves help.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mira For This Useful Post:

    Paula (21-09-19),Suzi (16-09-19)

  4. #3
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    I was diagnosed with depression at 22, I was probably ill a lot longer. I've been medicated pretty much constantly since then but I've still had good days. Even now, I'm finally on a medication that works and I have more good days, but there are still bad days. The good days don't mean I'm no longer ill, they just mean that my symptoms are not an issue at that point in time. Having depression does not mean that you have to be depressed every single day, in fact, having depression and being depressed are very different. Everyone feels depressed at some point in their life, everyone has moments of sadness or feeling low, but depression is more than a few days. And it's a myth that depression is just feeling sad. Yes it can be feeling sad but it can also be feeling anger too or being extremely irritable or even feeling nothing at all. Depression isn't a one size fits all, people experience it in different ways. No two people will have the same experience so it's important not to compare.

    A good day doesn't mean you're cured lovely.
    Tn prdu, jhami s rcbro

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jaquaia For This Useful Post:

    AAndrea (16-09-19),Suzi (16-09-19)

  6. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    My lovely husband has been ill for longer than I have known him and tried several medications. There is nothing fake about feeling like you want to end your own life....
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    AAndrea (16-09-19)

  8. #5
    Jaquaia
    I am scared of telling GPs about my good days because i am scared i will be diagnosed with bipolar disorder .
    It absloutey scared of gp vists . I am scared of saying the wrong thing.
    I already told the gp i have been sympton free for about 7 months .
    I told them this because i hoped my diagnosis will be removed from my medical records. I feel like i have label for life
    I was begging them to remove it.

    Last year i wanted to kill myself. The strange thing is even though i feel like my life is going nowhere am i not depressed and sucidial like i was last year .
    I am giving myself til november to see how things improve
    Last edited by Suzi; 17-09-19 at 08:24 AM. Reason: Merging posts, please try not to double post! :)

  9. #6
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Good days do not mean bipolar. Bipolar disorder is generally extremes of mood; the manic phase affects your life as much as, and sometimes more than, the depressive phase.

    Your depression will not just disappear, it needs treating, whether that is through medication or counselling. Lying to your doctor certainly doesn't help. They can't give you the best care if you aren't honest. And a diagnosis is just that, not a label. I have severe depression and anxiety as well as a couple of other illnesses but I am Jaq. I am not my diagnoses. I am kind and caring and empathetic. I am a bookworm, an indie-music lover, but I am not depression and I am not anxiety. They are just something that has had a hand in shaping a facet of my identity. It is possible that with treatment, you could recover and not get ill again. Some people only have one bout of depression in their lives. Things will not change unless you take steps to address what you feel is contributing to how you feel.
    Tn prdu, jhami s rcbro

  10. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Jaquaia For This Useful Post:

    AAndrea (16-09-19),magie06 (17-09-19),Paula (21-09-19),Strugglingmum (16-09-19),Suzi (17-09-19)

  11. #7
    I am going to see a gp this week because i need more information about depression.
    I realise more and more i dont understand this condition.

    When i began to have way more good days i began to believe i was no longer suffering . Thats what led to me begging doctors to remove my diagnosis.
    That was a moving post jaquaia.
    Thank you
    Last edited by Suzi; 17-09-19 at 08:24 AM. Reason: Merging posts, please try not to double post! :)

  12. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AAndrea View Post
    Jaquaia
    I am scared of telling GPs about my good days because i am scared i will be diagnosed with bipolar disorder .
    It absloutey scared of gp vists . I am scared of saying the wrong thing.
    I already told the gp i have been sympton free for about 7 months .
    I told them this because i hoped my diagnosis will be removed from my medical records. I feel like i have label for life
    I was begging them to remove it.
    I don't understand your fear of the doctor. You are poorly, you need treatment to help yourself to get better. This isn't going to happen without a Dr.
    I know for me, with my physical health, I desperately didn't want some of the diagnoses I've been given, but once I was correctly diagnosed I was able to get the right treatment for the right condition and my life has been much better. If you don't give the Dr's all the right pieces of the puzzle they can't make the picture and can't help you properly. You wouldn't be like this if you had diabetes or cancer, mental health is no less serious or important. The treatment for one condition could be radically different for another.
    I do understand you feel shame for having mental health issues, but you do need to get your head out of the sand and actually get the help you need. If you didn't need that help now then you wouldn't be here posting multiple times about it, would you? The diagnosis isn't something you need to tell everyone if you don't want to, but at least give them all the information so that they can make the RIGHT diagnosis.

    Last year i wanted to kill myself. The strange thing is even though i feel like my life is going nowhere am i not depressed and sucidial like i was last year .
    I am giving myself til november to see how things improve
    That's great, but honestly getting a GP appointment can take 6 weeks and any medication takes about the same time to get into your system and it can take months to get to see a counsellor etc. I don't see why you keep putting it off - why wait until you are at crisis?

    Quote Originally Posted by AAndrea View Post
    I am going to see a gp this week because i need more information about depression.
    I realise more and more i dont understand this condition.
    What about the mind website? Or Time-to-change? Or the NHS website?
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  13. #9
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    I can only echo what Suzi and Jaq have said your first stop is to see the doctor.

    Depression itself often doesn't make sense you can have everything the world and depression and its associated mental health issues can make your life hell because it is an illness (probably multiple causes) there isn't a magic pill to make things right but if you tell the doctor everything then you can start the road to recovery. In some cases there can complete recover in other cases the depression can be managed and you can enjoy life again you may never be like you were before depression hit you but you can certainly enjoy life again.

    These are my thoughts as someone who has suffered from depression for approximately 25 years and maybe longer if truth be known.

    Medication, therapy, coping strategies, distraction techniques there's such a lot to be tried but the first stop is your GP.
    72 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike" - The worst Christmas Joker 2018
    ~~~ Please check out the latest QUIZ (Fun and Games > Quiz) I'm sure you'll find it fun. ~~~

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to OldMike For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (17-09-19)

  15. #10

    Gone for a while *SU TRIGGERS*

    Hello DWD

    I joined this fourm last month and i am glad i have. I joined this fourm because i needed help understanding depression as i felt like what i was experieincng was not real or authentic depression . I had depressive espisodes last year (May -December and probably another april / may ) but despite having them i functioned so well like i managed to maanged to hand in my uni assigments and graduate. I fucntion so well day to day life. I can clean my house , get out of bed etc.

    I am too scared to kill myself but i fear living as well. The reason why i want to die is because fear adulthood and growing up. I fear i wont have a good career and a husband who loves me. I want to have a husband and a good career and be a part of the middle class. The thought of competing with people for jobs, paying bills, getting a mortage etc i cant do it . I scared of i am going to screw up my life and dont want to know how badly which is why sometimes i find death so appealing. I still want to die young before i am 25. Its sick i am sorry but that how i feel. I hate birthdays. I did plan to kill myself on 22nd birthday but i was scared of ending up hospital and missing my exams meaning i wont gradaute on time Sometimes i feel like dont deserve life. I am sorry but i wish i had an incurable terminal illness or died in an accident so i wont i have kill myself. I know this ungrateful but this is how i feel. I smile and say i am fine . On the outside i am happy but deep down i want to die very young.

    I want to say i am humbled by the compassion from the fourum users . I found it conforting hearing different life experiences of other fourm members because it helped see things a bit differently . It has helped me realise i put too much pressure on myself. I amazed by the determination of the members to live thier life and not let depression define them.

    I wont be on this fourm for next couple of months because i am just need to get away for a while.i am very confused about a lot of stuff.

    I will be back . I enjoy this forum and members on it.
    Thank you for everything
    Andrea
    Last edited by Jaquaia; 18-09-19 at 07:39 AM. Reason: Trigger warning added as per DWD procedure

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