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Thread: Well I guess it couldn't hurt

  1. #11
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD.

    Can I just start with saying that just because you haven't had a relationship up until now it doesn't mean that you won't in the future - just that you haven't met the right person yet! You are "only" 26, so there is plenty of time to find the right person and to get the job you want etc...
    So, what is the dream occupation?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  2. #12
    JustAnotherDude
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    I don't know if my reply to your post got sent as a private message or not at all =D. If it did could you please resend it to me so I can post it on the forum(I thought the reply to post would just mention which post I am replying to)

  3. #13
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I don't have a pm from you, I'm afraid
    My husband has alopecia universalis (complete and total internal and external hair loss) so I can sympathise with that.
    I don't know where you are studying, but can you apply to your uni for financial help - like a hardship loan or similar?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  4. #14
    JustAnotherDude
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    Shame, I wrote a lot of stuff. In general it was about several things. I got diagnosed with sinusitis a month ago and for several years I have been having this constant pain behind my eyes and pressure in my head which makes me feel a bit sick/drunk throughout the day which is fine and dandy at work but is a real problem when I am trying to remember more complex stuff (uni). I don't feel like my life is that bad because some people have it far worse even in the 1st world you have homeless, disabled and jobless people so could be worse. The thing that is eating me up inside is that for years now I have tried to keep this positive attitude of ok, now I'm gonna turn my life around but I am 26 now and I feel like I have practically wasted my life. The headache, lack of appetite and poor sleep is preventing me from going forward. My first 2 years here(Austria) I had guitar students constantly playing on my head and in Germany where I was previously the whole 3 years there was a construction site outside my house. Unfortunately for me I am a light sleeper so that was a problem. Being to poor to change my home also doesn't help. Seeing all of those happy go lucky couples around me makes me feel really sad that I have never had a person like that with whom I can just enjoy a walk in the park with. I have for a long time felt kind of rejected by society seeing most of the guys I know decide to spend their time with my more interesting "friends" or the girls go for the guy next to me. Kind of makes you think at one point what is the meaning in trying to be successful in life if your boss and the people around you still treat you as if you are not good enough (note not implying that anyone owes me anything in life, I know they don't. Just wish for once I was the lucky person who people wanted to go to a picknick with, watch GoT or something)

  5. #15
    JustAnotherDude
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    ...continued
    As I said your husband's condition seems far worse so it feels funny for me to complain. I just can't forgive myself for being such a up (we are our own worst critics after all) seeing all the people that I know getting married, having a really successful job and enjoying life while I have the feeling that no mater what I do happiness was just not meant for me. I've been wanting a change for years but even going to sleep is a struggle. I often roll in bed for hours.

  6. #16
    JustAnotherDude
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    My biggest fear in life has always been that I would end up as an old, still single, bald geezer, who everyone would look at and be like "Look at that loser!" and I have a feeling that if I don't change something in my life, I am going to end up exactly like that. One of the reasons why I have tried to study so hard in the past.

  7. #17
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    It's not about comparing your illness and feelings to someone else's because whatever you are going through is worst because it's affecting you. That's how it is and how it should be.
    You aren't a loser and you can change things around.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #18
    JustAnotherDude
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    I know I really hadn't thought about what exactly I wan't to do after I finally graduate. I like computers and do enjoy some of the courses in my field(economics) so perhaps something in that direction. It's kind of a stupid thing but for me It has always been a mater of pride more than anything else. I don't really care about my condition that much as long as I can afford to have my own little apartment and work a job where I feel respected I would be ok. Being alone all these years I have had a lot of time to do self analysis and also to read and kind of mentally explore the world. In the end we all as humans are completely replaceable. We are all motivated by our own selfishness and insecurities (for example people have kids mostly because of selfish reasons not altruism and that's what keeps humanity going mind you). That's not to say I am definitely a pessimist. I just think that people are mostly the same which means a person has to be extraordinary to stick out in the crowd. Be the best at something at least compared to the people around you. My point here being that each one of us is trying to stand out in a way. And having f*cked up my chanced so bad I feel like it's too late for me to do anything anymore. Here in Austria it is perfectly normal for a person to study 5 years to get a degree and having started everything again at 23 i have at least 2 more years to go no matter how hard I try (the system is just built that way with a job max 20 ects per semester). The thing about life is that it's the same as university exams. No one will ask you why you life turned out the way it did, they just see the end result. Like how often have you wondered for example if the women at the counter of a gym studio is actually smarter person than you (no disrespect I mean the general "you") who just had a ty life. At the end of the day all of that doesn't matter. What we see around us are people who we judge by simple factors: do you look good (am I attracted to you or find you generally attractive), do you earn a decent wage, do you get along with other people, how high are you in the social hierarchy. I can say that even character is really a replaceable factor because with 7 billion people on the planet there are bound to be plenty that act and think like you (general "you"). It's these kind of thoughts that get to me because that is just how the world works and seeing all the people I have come to know moving on with their lives and making progress is a really depressing thing when I think about my own life and how little I have achieved for all of this time.

  9. #19
    JustAnotherDude
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    Excuse my spelling and grammar. Weirdly I am one of those people, who feel English like a second mother language when it comes to speaking it but can't spell for the life of me (also a bit lazy ). Spent my whole childhood watching cartoon network, movies with subtitles and playing games. Would have much rather went to study in Canada because I hate German but $ is tight so what can you do.

  10. #20
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Your spelling and grammar are more than fine. No one would guess it's your second language - we have a few members who have that here.

    I really think you are overthinking things. Not everyone judges in all the ways you suggest, but yes basic judgements do happen. However, here we try not to judge anyone - we aren't you and we don't have your experiences so can't know what it's like to be you etc...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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