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Thread: Dating someone with depression and anxiety

  1. #1

    Dating someone with depression and anxiety

    Hi, im new to here and looking for some advice and tips on dating someone with depression and anxiety

    my girlfriend, i have known for about a year, and we started dating about 3 months ago. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety shortly after we started dating.

    I would be very grateful if anyone on here could help me with some general tips, help and advice on how best to support my girlfriend without smothering her and making her feel crowded - dos and donts.....

    Any advice would be really appreciated

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD.
    What kind of things do you want to know? I found it easier just to ask about each thing more specifically when I was desperately in need of help when my husband was ill and then had a breakdown.
    It's great to see you here trying to help. That's hugely important for her.
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Hi and welcome to DWD.
    What kind of things do you want to know? I found it easier just to ask about each thing more specifically when I was desperately in need of help when my husband was ill and then had a breakdown.
    It's great to see you here trying to help. That's hugely important for her.
    Thanks
    Well specifically when she has bad days / weeks how best to cope and how best to deal with the emotional roller coaster

    for example when she has good days everything is fine we get on amazing, but when she has bad days she pushes me away and says things like im better off without her, i deserve someone better, then when good days come she says dont leave me, even when i push you away please dont leave me i want to be with you forever

    It can be really confusing getting such mixed messages I know its a lot to do with her

  4. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Have you asked her what she wants and what she thinks might help her?
    I have always hung around like a bad smell for my husband, keep reminding her how much you love her and how much you want to be there for her. Maybe write her a letter?
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Have you asked her what she wants and what she thinks might help her?
    I have always hung around like a bad smell for my husband, keep reminding her how much you love her and how much you want to be there for her. Maybe write her a letter?
    On numerous occasions
    problem being she says she doesn't know
    She keeps searching for a reason as to why shes feeling the way she is, and i think at present everyday is groundhog day
    Ive tried to suggest going to see a therapist, but her reply is ive nothing to talk about, which i know isnt true as she opens up lots to me and i just listen, but finding what to say back when she does open up is probably the hardest thing to do.
    a letter is a good idea, ive not tried that approach

  6. #6
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Has she seen her Dr? Is she on meds? What about getting some exercise or eating and drinking healthily?
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Has she seen her Dr? Is she on meds? What about getting some exercise or eating and drinking healthily?
    she is seeing her doctor fortnightly and they are constantly changing her meds as they are all having different affects
    eg insomnia, weight gain and now the most recent is leading to a change in mood with weight loss

    as for eating at moment shes eating very little and im trying to advise her to eat more as this will help, but i cannot force her

    exercise - again last batch of meds she was on she was fine out exercising walking running etc but since this new batch, its nothing even crossing the door is a struggle day to day

    she has another appointment with the doctor this week

  8. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    OK the changing of meds will be a nightmare for her! As a general rule it takes around 6 weeks for any anti depressant medication to get fully into someone's system, and then each time the dose/meds are changed it takes the same amount of time. Meds also take about the same to get out of your system - so if she's on a med for 2 weeks and changes then she's going to have the starting side effects of 2 meds and one leaving her system too itms?
    Do you go with her to the Dr?
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    OK the changing of meds will be a nightmare for her! As a general rule it takes around 6 weeks for any anti depressant medication to get fully into someone's system, and then each time the dose/meds are changed it takes the same amount of time. Meds also take about the same to get out of your system - so if she's on a med for 2 weeks and changes then she's going to have the starting side effects of 2 meds and one leaving her system too itms?
    Do you go with her to the Dr?

    I see changes with her very quickly when meds are switched - within days sometimes - this latest switch occurred almost 2 weeks ago and on the day of the change she sent me the following message “ I know i am a mess just now i am up and down in mood i am trying so hard to be better, please dnt leave me when things get hard, honestly i love you so much and I dnt ever mean to push you away so dnt let me when i have another bad day, please bare with me, I dnt want to loose you, I honestly mean it when i say I want to spend the rest of my life with you”

    I’ve offered too but she wants to go alone
    She tells me that when alone with the doctor she feels she can open up more and talk to the doctor

    This weeks been brutal she’s been very very distant
    She’s changed plans we had made and is sleeping lots and being a stranger

  10. #10
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    What meds is she on currently? Which ones has she been on? Are they referring her for talking therapy?
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


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