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Thread: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having alw

  1. #21
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Could you not date/make social connections from outside of the city? Doesn't have to be countries apart?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  2. #22
    EJ
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    You have already posted on no more panic ?

  3. #23
    Lundi_Hákarlsson
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    San Francisco's outlying peripheral areas are quite similar to the city. A 60 mile/100 km radius around the city, all the way down to Silicon Valley, has very similar culture. It is almost like its own country.

    I am trying to download some new apps and see what happens.

    https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-rea...an-f_b_9833866

  4. #24
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Good for you!!!

  5. #25
    Lundi_Hákarlsson
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    I have but a little more than two weeks before I turn 30. After that one time over a month ago when I went to a restaurant with that woman who started talking about birth control, I have had no more dates so far. My obsession with numerical significance and statistics tells me that that it is more than extremely likely that I turn 30 still being single/virgin.

    There is very little online dating coach advice specifically for guys on the spectrum. What I am doing instead if just seeing what some of the advice for NT guys is (and of course the advice from here), and pick what makes sense to me and ignore the rest. For example, following the advice about being less serious, but ignoring the advice about quickly escalating touching. If she loses attraction because I do not engage in touching, then so be it. We would not be compatible if that is the case.

    I think that after reflecting for weeks on this, looking back, I have probably hated myself for too long. Dealing with social anxiety, generalised anxiety, OCD, sinking in and out of depression depending on life situations, plus the Asperger's have made most of my life, especially my 20s, a psychological torture. But now I realise that I have been to hard on myself. Anything good that I accomplish, I compare with someone else and say well they did even better than I do.

    I fail to consider the positives in myself, always focussing on the negatives. Probably due to listening too much to the insults/criticism over the years, especially of the "haha virgin loser" sort of comments. After deep introspection, I truly believe that I have a lot to offer. Maybe I am not the worthless, disgusting person that I always have considered myself to be for decades. Sometimes I feel sad that it seems like here where I am the women whom I meet do not see my positives, or I am just incompatible with so many here. But it is what it is, and I cannot change the past.

    I try to look forward to beginning the 30s on a good note. All of the torture of my 20s I think I did not deserve it, but it is what it is. I can only try to change the future.

  6. #26
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    That's a really positive post!
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

  7. #27
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Wow! That's really positive! Go you!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #28
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I’m sorry I didn’t say hi before - I’ve been in hospital. I love that you’re looking towards the positives, we’ll done you!
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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