This is not happening trigger warning sh/su

[AAndrea]

Hello Everyone ( trigger warning self harm/ sucide)
My family ( My mum and Nan)are concerned about my eating and believe i have lost much weight. Today i went on a trip to brighton and on the train journey i was struggling to stand . Ever since i fainted on a family holiday they have been more watchful of my eating. I hace dont have a weight problem and love my body. My family are big see.
My mum is trying to book gp appointment.
If i end up getting a gp appointment my depression diagnois will come out.
This not happening.
I cant tell my family about my depression . They are going to be mad.
Its all over.
My family financailly support me but emotionally they dont. If i cry or break down i get no sympathy.
Talking about my feelings just ends up in nothing but an explosive argument
I am so terrified.
When i was youngrr and i used to self harm. My mum covered up the whole thing. She screamed at me saying social services will get involved. I was made to feel gulity for havong a mental health issues.
My mum told me to hide my scars andrefused any medocal health.
I rather be dead than my family find out my diagnosis.
Andrea

If your family negatively reacted to your diagnois how did you cope.
Currentluly i feel like sucide is the only way out of this
I cant do this anymore