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Thread: Hello Everybody

  1. #11
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Andrea, I’ve merged this thread with a previous one as what you’ve talked about is very similar. Please try not to start new threads unnecessarily. I have left this post as is, however, as I’m puzzled by a couple of bits of information. You’ve mentioned that talking to your family is not an option, that they laugh at people with mental health issues and you can’t tell them, yet you also say that they’ve supported you. Do they know about your health? Do they Understand?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  2. #12
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi AAndrea. Can I ask where you got your law degree from? It's just my son is about to leave home to go to do a law degree
    Have you spoken to your Doctor recently? Have they suggested medication or counselling?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #13
    AAndrea
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    Paula
    Finaically my family are supportive but when it comes to depression they believe people in the west have nothing to be depressed about.

    My family are immigrants from zambia. Life is more harder than in the UK. In Zambia there is no NHS like here , there is no free education in secondary school like here

    They think young peope in the UK are just previleged and have nothing to be depressed.

    Its very difficult being black with depression.

    My family believe depression does not exist.

    Being a child of immigrants i am constantly told to be grateful.

    Being a black woman with depression it is awful stigma which is hard to explain.

    Thats why i cant tell my family

  4. #14
    AAndrea
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    Suzi
    My law degree is from st marys uni in twickenham

    I dont want to pratice law

    I was recomended to use iapt nhs service which provides a range of therapies.

    I am having trouble accessing it at the minute.

    Being black makes it so much harder to talk about my depression. Most people have no idea .

    Growing up i was told black women have to be strong. Black families in general when it comes to sucide, depression , homosexuality, athiesm are very intorelent and close minded.

    My mum screamed at me for self harming when i was younger and covered the whole thing. They called me selfish.

    My family beleive depression can be prayed away . My one of my closet friends( black girl) believe my condition is not real and only the west have this problem

    I wish was dead so i wont have to deal with the stigma anymore.

    If i kill myself in the future the reasons will be
    1) the shame of being a black woman with depression
    2) not having a boyfriend/husband
    3) Not being in a job

    I am learning how to use this website

    Sorry for the long posts .

    Thank you so much for all your support

    This fourm has helped me.

    I feel so safe and less alone
    Last edited by Suzi; 22-08-19 at 04:07 PM. Reason: Merging posts, please try not to double post! :)

  5. #15
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Glad you are finding this helpful. It's not just black ethnicities who have that kind of stigma - it's all over the world and with every race/creed/colour.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  6. #16
    Queen of Crafting magie06's Avatar
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    The thing with depression is, it's not selective. It can happen to anyone, young, old, rich, poor, white, black, male female. It can happen in all societies, but some just ignore the problem and don't talk or acknowledge anyone suffering from it. If you were suffering from a broken leg, would you get help for it? What happens between you and your doctor is private and there is no reason why anyone should know what you are being treated for unless you choose to tell them.
    I was told once that every suicide affects 50 people directly. This was brought home to me just last year because someone close took his own life. It really did affect even more than 50 people, some more than others. If you did anything to yourself, you really aren't taking the pain away, you are just passing it on to others.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to magie06 For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (22-08-19)

  8. #17
    Deleted Member
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    Hi Andrea
    Im John. Although I was born in the UK, my parents are both European. We emigrated to Italy when i was just a few years old. I am 55 now (yesterday).
    We went through a nightmare because as kids we had inherited our parents dark skin.
    I watched as my older brothers became ill. They are a few years older than me so the illness seemed to leave me alone until I was late into adulthood. I tried to warn my parents that one of my brothers was dangerously ill- I even took him to our GP.
    The GP told my parents- they went ballistic saying "how could they go there now because the doctors think their kids are psychopaths".
    They practically disowned me.
    A few years later my brother attempted suicide, failed and then just got on a plane, leaving his wife and kids and headed out to somewhere in the United States.
    I have lost all my brothers to the same illness.
    I am presently getting help from the NHS- the system is good BUT be prepared to fight for your life.
    They are crushed by the overwhelming amount of people on their waiting list.
    Put your name down as soon as you can, accept medication.
    My belief is that medication alone does not work- you need medication and therapy hand in hand.
    The first step is your GP.
    I am still along way from being well but I do believe we can all beat this dreadful illness.
    Good luck...

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Deleted Member For This Useful Post:

    Jaquaia (27-08-19),Suzi (27-08-19)

  10. #18
    AAndrea
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    Cool My depression story- i feel like a fraud

    Hello Everybody i hope everyone is good
    My name is Andrea and i am 22 years old. Here is my depression journey
    Last year may 13th i turned 21 and i woke up on my birthday feeling like my life was one big failure and i felt like my life was over. I felt like a failure because i never had a job , never had a boyfriebd abd kept getting 2.2s . These feelijgs were really bothing me.
    June- august (summer period) : These feelings continued to drag througght out these months. The feelings made me lose my confidence. I volunteered as a gateway assessor at a citizens advice in richmond . I was nervous talijg to the clients . This is unusal i because i am a confident person and i find it easy ti talk to people. I just struggled woth advising the clients. After the placement ended i began to realise i cant handle the world of work . My mum boyfriend moved in and his spolit brat son would stay over. The led to arguments in the family. The arugmebtd were based on the fact my sister and i would not play with him. The boy is annoying and he lies a lot which gets other people in trouble .My mum would say hurtful things. It was like she cared about her boyfriend happiness than me.
    September- Ocotober: I returned to university . I was not the same. Beofre all this i loved academia , reading and i was confident in my beliefs/ ideas. During these months i began to doubt my ideas, opinions this made it harder for me to focus on my assigments. I felt like whatever i wrote was not good enough. The fear of getting a 2.2 made it worse. Soemtikes i wiild break down crying in public. At this stage i considered sucide becaise i feared growiing up and did not want to deal with it anymore. I talked to my nan and my nan luaged when i was depressed. Seeing how sucxessful people i went to school with worsened these feelings.
    November-Demcember: j was struggling with assigments and i was beloeved i failed everything. The argumrbts with my mum over a her relationship with her bf started becoming exposive. Most days i thought of sucide and planned to kill myself on my next birthday. I was serious about it. I saw death as the only way to escape the pressure. I could not see myself having a future anymore.
    January: Days before my equity and trusts exam i was sucidal and depressed because i believed i was never going to be happy again. During the exam i struggled to answer the questions or give detalied answers. I felt like it was all over i was going to fail my degree. I flipped over the table and stromed out the exam. It felt so liberating. Only tell i calmed down i realksed this is serious. I lied to my family saying the exam went well and they were proud of me
    Janury 15: i went to the gp to get a note for my exanauting circumstabce claim. The gp and i talked about my feelings. I filled in a questionnaire . I was diagnaosed with moderste depression. When i was digansed it was a sense of releif because i always knew i was not normal. I was using unicveristy wellbeing serivices and they were supportive and helpful. They helped me better manage my negative thoughts. I lied to my family about my lectured being longer when acualky i was in a conselling session.
    After January The assigments i thought i failed i got a 2.1s in them. I was now on track to get a 2.1 . I was happy. I began to feel my depression was fake because i was experenicing happiness and so functional.
    February -May :During this period i aslo exeprienced feelings of anger, self doubt and just being ashamed of my life in gerneral. I planned to kill mysled after gradauting. I used all thst shame to motivate me to work harder in my final exams and assignents.
    July gradauted with a 2.1 in law . I could not he happy about my own gradaution. I felt gulity for gradauting becaise they were people in my class who really wanted to gradaute but are going to. My close friend did not graduate and i fslt she was more deserving than me.
    I went to gp early august they said depression is a not forever diagnois.i wanted them to remove the diagnois of my recoreds. They said they cant.
    I am not nornal enough or crazy enough which was why i wanted the diagnois removed.
    Currebtly i am not sufferjng any symptoms and feel normal.
    Can depression come and go.
    I feel so fake.
    Mwntal health awarebess campaigns made me feel like my expereince witg depression was not real.

  11. #19
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    You don't sound fake to me, I think you need to see a different Dr!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  12. #20
    AAndrea
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    Advice

    Hello everybody
    I hope everyone is well.
    I am coming to terms with my depression and have accpeted it will likely come back in the future. Currently i am symptom free.
    I have accpetef the fscg i am going go have on/off bouts of depression for the rest of my life.
    I would like to know what should i do if my depression comes back.
    How did people on this fourm cope when their depression comes back

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