Hello Everybody

[AAndrea]

My name is Andrea and i am 22 years old. I live in London and i rescently gradauted from university with a Law degree. I dont want to be a lawyer.

I was diagnosed with Moderate depresssion in January this year.

My family have no idea about my depression diagnosis . My family believe mental illness are for weak people and are very judgmental towards peolple who kill themselves.

Being black mental illnesses are taboo . I find my diagnosis embrassing becausw i never had a hard life .

I want to know more infornation about moderate deprsssion

What is moderate depression

What is the NHS like with mental health care

I have days where i am nornal and ok but my depression does come back.

Thanks

Andrea

[Suzi]

Hi Andrea and welcome to DWD.
A law degree is very transferable into other options - do you know what it is that you want to do?
Have you seen your doctor?

ETA: I have deleted your other thread as it was asking the same as this one.

[Paula]

Hi and welcome . Congratulations on completing your law degree! Do you have any idea what you want to do?

Please don’t be embarrassed, mental health problems can affect anyone regardless of whether they’ve had a ‘hard’ life or not. If your family don’t understand your illness, if you feel able at some point to talk to them about it, ask them to take a look at this website https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/

Edit:

The NHS website gives a good explanation of what moderate depression is https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinic...sion/symptoms/

[AAndrea]

Hello Everybody

My name is Andrea and i was diagnosed with moderate depression in janaury 2019. Last year i was depressed after my birthday and i considsred sucide becauase i was scared of growing up and i was terrifed of the future . I still am and i would love to die young .
These feelings went on for months. I make plans to kill myslef but cant go through with them.

I used to cut myself in my teens

I feel like i am too functional to have depression. I am not sad all the time

I do have feelings of worthlessness and wanting to die and feeling like a failure and self dobut but i can still do things but i have work much harder .

Throuhout my final year of univeristy i thought of killing mysrlf and i would break down crying in public but i still managed to hand in assessments and get good grades.

I graduated with a 2.1 degree in law .

I will have days in which i am enjoying life and dont want to die but i wil be depressed again.

No one in my family have mental illbess and never had a hard life .

This is so humilating

One the outside people see me as intelligent and pretty but inside i want to die and constantly doubt myself . If you tell me i am pretty or clever i dont believe it at all.

My parents are african and believw only white people get depression. My nan says depression does not exist in africa so why does the west have it

Has anyone experienced this?

Plz share your stories

I feel so alone that my dspression is not the same as other people

[Jaquaia]

Hi Andrea. I've added a trigger warning as you mention self harming and suicide. It's nothing to worry about, it's just so people can avoid your thread if it would trigger them.

Can I ask if you were honest with your GP? As it surprises me that frequent suicidal thoughts and self harm was classed as moderate and not severe...

Depression isn't just sadness, sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's despair, sometimes it can be feeling nothing at all. Everyone is different. Also, depression doesn't have to have a reason, sometimes it just happens. You can also have good days, it doesn't mean you're not ill, it's just a good day. Some people can still function pretty well in day to day life with depression too; I can't but my partner can.

I'm not sure how to tackle the view your parents have as it sounds like a cultural view. Maybe try and find some accounts from African/people of African descent who also suffer from mental illness? I'm not sure.

You asked for our stories? Briefly, I first got ill when I was at uni but didn't realise. I barely scraped a 2:2. I didn't manage to get onto the teaching course I wanted to do and ended up working as a cleaner for 10 years. I could function at first but it got harder and harder. I ended up in an abusive relationship and started self harming and having frequent suicidal thoughts. That didn't get any better when I left my ex and I ended up having to see a specialist nurse in the secondary mental health service. It turns out that I have severe treatment-resistant depression and severe anxiety and they started me on new meds that aren't perfect, but they let me live a life. I'm now back at uni doing a psychology degree, about to start training to be a counsellor and learning how to drive. A year ago I was barely managing with uni.

There is a way through if you can get the right treatment.

[AAndrea]

I was diagnosed with moderate based on the scoring .

I was diagnised with just moderate.

I have tested postive twice for moderate depression.

I self harmed in my teens but stopped when things got better. I never attemptef to kill myself but think of it sometimes

I decided not to tell my family. This is going to stay that way

[Jaquaia]

Telling your family is your decision.

Can you access counselling to try and work through some of these feelings?

[AAndrea]

Jaquia thank you so much for your reply

I feel like my depression is not real because i function so well most days despite my condition . Iam not sad all the time which is why i worry.

I have to work more harder .

I need to hear more stories of people qith depression but are functional or dont fit the sterotype of someone with depression

[Jaquaia]

I'm one of those who sometimes struggles to function and I have days where I'm happy, more so recently. We have had people in the past who have a full time job and people have no idea they have depression. It's known as high-functioning depression. My partner is like that. He role at work is safety-critical and he does a brilliant job, everyone who works with him says that. Yet he has severe depression and anxiety and only recently finished counselling. He looks after his children, works full time and volunteers a couple of days a month. It's a lot more common than you think lovely.

[AAndrea]

Hello

I was diagnosed with moderate depression in January 2019 and struggling to access therapy on the NHS.

I am embrassed about my diagnosis.

I never had a hard life. I am a black female

Everyone in my family have more serious problems and out of all of them i get it .

African parents donf recognise depression so talking to my family is not an option.

My famiky think only white people have depression and this does not exist in african nations.

My family laugh at people with mental illnesss.

I hate being a black woman with depression its so embrassing. I wish i was a white woman with depression becsuse a least depression is recognised in the white community

My family have suppprted me and i end up with this diagnois.

One of my friends who are black . Told me my condition is not real.

On the outside people see me as intelligent and pretty but i dont.

Currently i am fine but my depression will come back as i have not had treatment

My depression came out of nowhere. I woke up one morning on my 21st birthday feeling like my life was one big failure and these feelings dragged on for months . As the months went on these feelings got worse. I would brrak down crying and i lost all my confidence.

How do you deal with depression if not got a hard life?

Can you be successful with depression like have a career?

Have you ever had depression which appeared out of nowhere.


What exactly is moderate depression?


I am so alone . I am dealing with this on my own because telling my family will make it a million times worse.