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Thread: New here. Need help please *TRIGGERS*

  1. #1
    Ibby
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    New here. Need help please *TRIGGERS*

    Hi everyone

    Am looking for some advice. I think i have been depressed for over 20 years. I cant cope anymore.

    To cut a long story short, i think i have been depressed for years. I used to gamble to escape. Then smoke weed, then drink now i take cocaine.

    I have finally realised i have always been depressed and looking for ways to escape.

    I dont want to carry on like this. My family is Asian so when i have said in the past i think im depressed they don't understand. They just say what have you got to be depressed about. I have an arranged marriage, which im not happy about either. I got married at 16, im now 40.

    I hate my life. If im not at work, i spend the rest of the time in bed. I have no friends. I cant talk to anyone. I cant do this anymore. I went to the gp when i was about 20 and said i think im depressed. He referred me to the nurse for counselling. I went once,

    Where do i go from here. Im going to ring mind in the morning. Do you think they can help me?

    Thanks in advance
    Last edited by Jaquaia; 07-09-19 at 04:14 PM. Reason: Trigger warning added as per DWD procedure

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome. Have you thoughts about going to the Dr again? Can I ask why you only went once to the last counsellor?
    Mind might be able to help, but they can't sort medication or counselling which it sounds like you might need.

    Are you happy in your marriage?

    *Edited to add: I've deleted your other thread as it was a direct duplicate of this one and it's easier to keep track if things aren't in lots of places...
    Last edited by Suzi; 11-08-19 at 05:22 PM.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #3
    Ibby
    Guest
    Hi Suzi

    I am going to go to the gp again. Im gonna have to. The reason i went to the counsellor only once, and it was probably my own fault tbh. I was young then, i was telling her about my unhappy marriage etc and things that i felt were getting me down and i just thought i can tell you all this but it doesn't change anything, the issues are still there so whats the point?

    And no im not happy in my marriage. I have been married for 24 years unhappily now.

  4. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Have you thought about any support groups for people who have unhappy arranged marriages? Do you have children? You know that the cocaine isn't going to be helping anything don't you?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #5
    Ibby
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    I haven't thought about any kind of arranged marriage support groups tbh. I have 2 kids.

    And yes i realise cocaine is not the answer more the opposite. This is why i need to once and for all take some steps in the right direction.

    With the marriage thing, it really is a tricky one. We are totally different people, worlds apart. I did not want to marry her even. Being truthful if i had got my act together years ago, ie counselling, meds i would have left years ago.

    But due to my vices, i am not financially able to, so its a vicious circle.

  6. #6
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Does she know how you feel about the marriage?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  7. #7
    Ibby
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    She knows, but to her family honour is more important than being happy in marriage anyway.

  8. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm not overly familiar with the intricacies of honour and arranged marriages ending, but is she happy with how things are?

    Have you managed to call your Dr and get an appointment?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  9. #9
    Ibby
    Guest
    She is happy enough. Even though we sleep in seperate rooms.

    I was off work today as its eid. Seen my mum etc but spent rest of day in bed. I didn't call Dr as i need to check work schedule for work. I will check tomorrow at work and call.

    Thank you so much Suzi

  10. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi Ibby and welcome. I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling for so long. Depression is something that can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, situation and, like any chronic illness, rarely goes away on its own. But you have made an important first step in deciding to see your doctor.

    Talking to others that understand is hugely helpful so I’m glad you’ve found your way here
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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