Hello!

I hope everyone is doing well.

I've been lurking on the forum, wanting to contribute but not really feeling I have much positivity to bring right now. but am back hoping to hear about others' experiences...

Progress update:
The bad: Really struggling with motivation to take care of myself, or focus at work. Mainly just want to cry, or sleep to stop my brain whirring. I called in sick today (for the first time), which has made me feel both relieved and terrible at the same time!
The positive: after a few tries have managed to see my GP today and been prescribed ADs, AND scheduled an assessment with IAPT for 16th Aug.

While I'm hopeful the meds will help me get back on a more even keel, I am really hoping I might be able to access something like CBT - so I wondered whether other DWD-ers had found this helpful?

I've had talking therapy before which I found really cathartic. It helped to talk through some really difficult times in my life, for example helping to address feelings of guilt I had around my father's suicide. BUT! I don't feel like it helped me to address my issues with self worth (which I've struggled with since adolescence and which pre-date my father's death).
I feel like I will never 'get better' or feel worthy if I can't learn to love or at least accept myself... I really *WANT* to do this - I have read so many tips and suggestions on the topic... but I just don't know how to apply it! Is this something CBT could help with?

For example, one suggestion was to sit and think about things you like about yourself... and I just come up completely blank. There is nothing I can genuinely say I like about my personality or physical appearance. Every potential positive has a negative - "I'm intelligent", but my state of mind right now means I can't think straight. I'm completely unproductive at work. Colleagues tell me I'm talented and it makes me feel worse! Like a fraud, like I don't deserve their praise and can't live up to it... and then the pressure of the expectation is like a negative spiral

I would love to hear about any courses or resources that people have found helped them to really tackle negative self-talk and improve their mindset... I know it will be different for everyone, but at the moment it just feels like I CAN'T think positively about myself, and it would be nice just to know that it IS possible!!!