Hi, I'm an old woman. I am currently finding it very hard to look to the future, given that it can't more than 15 or so years at most. I have been married for 41 yrs, 30 of them happily - and then my husband became an alcoholic for eight years. Never physicially abusive but a ghastly time of worrying incessantly that if he was ten mins. late he was drinking and he was. Lying,going missing, getting phone calls saying he was sitting in his car out for the count. Falling over in the street, etc etc. He is much younger than I so I had to cope with this starting when I was over sixty! I planned to work until 75 but at 70 I couldn't go on. I had been in touch with the love of my life from half a century before but only in a sporadic, pretty distant way. In the last six months emails changed. At his request, I went to live with him in the tropics, he was a widower. Three years of happiness and he said he didn't want me any more. I came back, I own half the house, my husband doesn't drink and he wants to start again. Of course everything has changed. I am trying so hard to see a future but as a chronic depressive I find it often impossible. I have been rejected. There it is. I think of helping those worse off than myself but I fear I'd scarcely cheer them up. I am without any funds but state pension. I sound as though I am a real wet weak but I do keep it mostly to myself. Most people would think of me as jolly, outgoing, amusing. I'm not, I'm crying incessantly and the doctor refused to up my dose of antidepressant and recommended talking therapy. All v well but the waiting list is six months. By then, I'll be even more of a mess! So, so sorry this has been such a long winded, dreary message.