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Thread: Struggling to cope *SU trigger*

  1. #1
    CaterpillarGirl
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    Struggling to cope *SU trigger*

    Hi guys, I hope everyone is doing ok, I know it's been a really long time since I was here, i guess I just got caught up in life and I had been doing so much better. Emphasis on the had been. Past tense. Now I'm not and I don't know why but I've really just had enough and I have nowhere to turn. I feel so alone and I'm struggling with all these thoughts of not wanting to be here, I don't think I'm going to act on it but I feel like I'm running out of options, I've been to the doctors and I'm changing over meds, I just feel like nobody understands and so I can't talk to anyone about it. I've been talking to my friend but I don't think she realises just how bad it is and she's dealing with her own stuff too so I don't want to keep bothering her. I know you guys all have your own stuff too I just really needed to get this all off my chest. I'm having a really hard time just getting through each day, I'm exhausted from wearing my mask constantly and I don't want to leave my house. I'm having a really hard time with Lena and her attitude towards me and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to be here, I want to die but I don't want to hurt all the people around me and it's so difficult because I just don't know what to do. I don't have the strength to go on any more but I have to and the more I carry on and pretend I'm ok the worse I get.
    I'm sorry for disappearing for so long and then coming back with a long rant but I didn't know where else to turn. Everything online says ring these numbers but I can't, I just can't do it, or go to a&e but I don't feel like I'm bad enough and I don't want to waste their time. I just needed to talk, because I know I have to get through this, I have to, I just don't know how

  2. #2
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Oh hunni, I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad . What meds are you changing from and to? Remember, changing over is really tough and you’re likely to feel worse before you feel better ...... but we’re here and will support you every step of the way.

    You will not be wasting anyone’s time if you ring those numbers or go to a&e. Their job is to look after people who are in crisis - physically or mentally - which is where you are right now. You need every bit of support that is available, so please, please ask for it
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  4. #3
    Head Groundskeeper OldMike's Avatar
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    Changing meds can be really difficult, you've just give it time (easier said and done). I was thinking about you the other day as it seemed ages since you last posted here. We are here to listen.
    77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"

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  6. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hey lovely, so good to see you - sorry you're feeling rubbish.
    You won't be wasting anyone's time by calling or texting etc. You are important and you matter and your feelings matter.
    What's up with Lena?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  8. #5
    Walker extraordinaire!
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    Hey there. Sorry things are rubbish for you. It's horrible how when you think things are getting better then you just sink again.
    What's happening with Lena?
    Could that be bringing you down?
    Hun can I really suggest Samaritans just to talk. Keep on here but if you need a voice to talk to I have used them.... a lot.
    Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.

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  10. #6
    CaterpillarGirl
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    Thank you guys for all your kind words, I ended up going for lunch with my friend today and she's putting me in touch with a friend of hers that's been through the same thing so I can have someone to talk to about it. I'm currently coming off sertraline but I can't remember the name of the new one. Lena's attitude is just getting worse and worse and it really feels like she doesn't care about anything, although I ended up breaking down in front of her earlier because I just my finger and shouted in pain and she ignored me, when I asked her about it she said she hadn't heard me but she still didn't seem bothered (I had bent my nail right back and it REALLY hurt) and then she got in a mood for no reason and I just got really upset. After I broke down we had a really good chat (she ended up crying too) and she says she is going to try harder, I just hope she sticks to it.
    I'm going to try and get some sleep now, I just feel so exhausted, low and miserable at least when in asleep I don't feel anything
    Thanks you again for being so supportive, I forgot how much I love you guys, I've missed it here xx

  11. #7
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    How old is she? I had a pretty rough time with my youngest for the last years but just recently things have got a lot better (she’s 18). I know how awful it can be, lovely, so I’m sending love and hugs
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  13. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Massive hugs hunni... Mine can be just as difficult...
    Ouch for the finger love!

    Sleep well.
    I've missed you too!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  15. #9
    Walker extraordinaire!
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    They can seem very selfish at times.... mine are the same. The hope is they come out of it and turn into well adjusted adults
    Hope the finger heals. Sounds very painful.
    I'm glad you're talking. Xx
    Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.

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  17. #10
    CaterpillarGirl
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    she's 11 going on 16! I've taken a mental health day from the school where I volunteer, they are very understanding so that's good. I'm meeting my friend for a walk with our dogs, she's been such a rock a big help to me lately and we've only really known each other around a year. Although I can talk to Greg he doesn't understand what I'm going through, he does try his best, but I usually end up feeling worse! So it's nice to have someone that understands I hope everyone has a lovely day

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