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Thread: Depression, loneliness & excessive worry*SH Trigs*

  1. #81
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SA89 View Post
    There's people threatening to come round & cause trouble because my twat brother owes them 600. They could even hurt my mum, me & my dog. All because of his debt from buying weed. He's petrified which is ironic given how he likes to portray a "thug" like image.
    Then maybe you need to call the police. Get some help. Maybe even speak to your housing department if you are in danger?

    My aunts fella has offered to pay some of it as it needs to be paid by Wednesday. This place doesn't help my mental health issues at all. Tbh I don't even care if I die so it'd be a relief if someone was to inadvertently kill me. I'm already dead inside ..

    Really? IF you are feeling like that genuinely then please get help. If not then STOP saying things flippantly. I will not ask you nicely again.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  2. #82
    SA89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Then maybe you need to call the police. Get some help. Maybe even speak to your housing department if you are in danger?

    Really? IF you are feeling like that genuinely then please get help. If not then STOP saying things flippantly. I will not ask you nicely again.
    When I say those things, that's hardly being flippant. I've felt dead inside for a long time, can't even remember the last time I felt emotion other than deep sadness. That's how long lasting my depression has been & it doesn't come & go, it's persistent. Sleep is the only relief I get from the mental suffering I've endured for years. Even getting help is expensive, I've been lookin up CBD oil as it's a natural anti-depressant without the awful side effects & withdrawals. I'm desperate for somethin natural to take the edge off that doesn't come with the I've experienced with AD's. I had another jobcentre appointment today but this whole sanction case is a mess. They're gonna book me in with someone who deals directly with the sanctions apparently.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mira View Post
    What do you need to do to break this cycle? It feels like you are going round and round in circles. And when people give advice you give a thanks and nothing else.
    I thank everyone's post out of courtesy, that's nothing to do with not acknowledging anyone's advice. Trust me I read everyone's posts a few times over & always go back to them for encouragement. If I didn't leave a thanks then you'd probably think "why isn't he grateful for this advice". A thanks just lets people know I appreciate the advice. I know how busy people are so it means a lot. Going round & round in circles is the nature of depression. I know I'm hard work, I just find it difficult to break this cycle of being a recluse. If you was a serious recluse for as long as I've been would you find it so easy to change & break this cycle?. There's a lot of hypochondriacs like myself who can't seem to get over their insecurities .

    Quote Originally Posted by Paula View Post
    Has anyone spoken to the police?
    No but tbh the police should be rang on him as well because he's just as threatening as his alleged money chasers. Today he came upstairs & threatened me to hand over my mums phone. My mum told me to use it as its cheaper than landline as she's on a contract. Then he starts banging on my door saying "Oi give me that in phone now!". That's just an example of how controlling he is. When he has drugs or alcohol he's evil. I know I'm bone idle but I've never given my mum or anyone trouble.
    Last edited by SA89; 27-06-19 at 09:13 PM.

  3. #83
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SA89 View Post

    I thank everyone's post out of courtesy, that's nothing to do with not acknowledging anyone's advice. Trust me I read everyone's posts a few times over & always go back to them for encouragement. If I didn't leave a thanks then you'd probably think "why isn't he grateful for this advice". A thanks just lets people know I appreciate the advice. I know how busy people are so it means a lot. Going round & round in circles is the nature of depression. I know I'm hard work, I just find it difficult to break this cycle of being a recluse. If you was a serious recluse for as long as I've been would you find it so easy to change & break this cycle?.There's a lot of hypochondriacs like myself who can't seem to get over their insecurities .
    Ok, I'm going to highlight this as it has seriously annoyed me. Especially this bit

    If you was a serious recluse for as long as I've been would you find it so easy to change & break this cycle?.
    You've made a judgement about Mira there. Not a good quality for someone who is going to be volunteering for the Samaritans. How do you know Mira isn't reclusive? How do you know what he goes through? If you had actually read Mira's thread, you would know he has AVPD, avoidant personality disorder. His disorder goes far further than just being reclusive. So yes, he does know how hard it is to be reclusive, but you know what? He's still fighting to change that. He's putting himself out of his comfort zone to seek treatment.

    If you want things to change then actually do something about it. Have you even bothered looking at the recovery college I gave you the link to?
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

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  5. #84
    Mira
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    I think we may have a different idea about what a recluse is. You talk about going out with a group. A few times now.

    You ask me if it would be easy to break that cycle if I was a serious recluse like you are. I have no idea if you or I have it worse. Its not a contest. But I do find it a bit dismisive. You assume your situations and troubles are worse then mine by asking that question.

    Insecurities are horrible. I know. I have a whole bunch of diagnosed disorders. But I am still trying to break that cycle. And i know how hard it is. But i guess i can not see what you are going through. Since you have this for so long and so intense.

    I truly wish you all the best and that you find a way to break this cycle and find joy.

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  7. #85
    Queen of Crafting magie06's Avatar
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    When I was trying to get over my first severe depression, I thought I'd only have to take these tablets, do the talking therapy and I'd be cured. It really doesn't work like that unfortunately.
    1. I had to take the meds, every day at the same time. Yes, they are chemicals, yes there is a lot to be said about nasty side effects, yes I'll probably be on them for the rest of my life.
    I'm also an asthmatic. Yes I have to take my meds every day, at the same time every day. Yes, they are nasty chemicals, yes the side effects can be dreadful, but if I don't take them I could DIE!
    I also suffer from rheumatoid arthritis. I've undergone 2 major operations in the last 14 weeks. Yes, I take meds for my condition. Yes, they are nasty chemicals and yes they have side effects. But if I don't take them, then I will be in severe pain, and not able to keep going with my daily life.
    I also have a severe allergy to Latex. I am on the Mac dose of antihistamine and if I miss a dose and come into contact with something as innocent as a balloon, then I could DIE!

    I've done the talking therapy. I've done more than one talking therapy. The first was just getting somewhere and then the sessions stopped. The second one was dreadful. I didn't click with the therapist. The third was group therapy and I didn't open my mouth for the first 4 sessions. But then, the group therapy coincided with individual therapy and for the first time I got somewhere. And then my therapist changed. It took a while to trust someone new, but I stuck it out and I finished, but still have her number if things get on top of me again.

    None of these things would have happened if I didn't help myself. The first time someone said - write 3 positives per day - well I thought they were mad. There was nothing positive in my life, how could I find 3? But I tried, and it became easier. Repeating things on a daily basis makes it easier.

    Then one day, I got up and I found I was able to go out for a walk to the shop. Then later, I was actually able to go in and buy something. Eventually, I got to know the people who work there, and I can call in now and have a conversation about everything and anything. But I couldn't do it straight away. It takes practice and patience.

    I know not everyone's situation is the same as mine. That's the thing with depression. You can't look at a group of people and pick 3 out of 4 of them and say, you are depressed. Depression doesn't care if you are young or old. It doesn't care if you have money or not. It doesn't care if you live with your mum or live with a loving partner. Depression just IS.
    The love and support from each and every person here has changed my life. If I've had a good day, then the forum needs me. If I've had a ty day then I need the forum.

    In life when you get hooked up to a heart machine, the line goes up and down. It's only when you are dead that it is a straight line. You can either accept the lows as they come and do something about it, or you can just count down the days until that line goes flat.

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  9. #86
    SA89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaquaia View Post
    Ok, I'm going to highlight this as it has seriously annoyed me. Especially this bit

    You've made a judgement about Mira there. Not a good quality for someone who is going to be volunteering for the Samaritans. How do you know Mira isn't reclusive? How do you know what he goes through? If you had actually read Mira's thread, you would know he has AVPD, avoidant personality disorder. His disorder goes far further than just being reclusive. So yes, he does know how hard it is to be reclusive, but you know what? He's still fighting to change that. He's putting himself out of his comfort zone to seek treatment.

    If you want things to change then actually do something about it. Have you even bothered looking at the recovery college I gave you the link to?
    Why has me simply replying to recent posts & giving an update annoyed you?. I shouldn't have assumed that about Mira so I apologize but I was replying to his post that implied I say thanks just for the sake for it when I genuinely appreciate every piece of advice I receive. It's not fair for you to say you're seriously annoyed, for what reason? I've not even said anything wrong, I was simply explaining a few things ffs!. When you respond in that manner it sets a precedence because you're a well respected member on here so now I look like a dickhead purely on your response. That's not right & it makes me wonder why I even bother on here at times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mira View Post
    I think we may have a different idea about what a recluse is. You talk about going out with a group. A few times now.

    You ask me if it would be easy to break that cycle if I was a serious recluse like you are. I have no idea if you or I have it worse. Its not a contest. But I do find it a bit dismisive. You assume your situations and troubles are worse then mine by asking that question.

    Insecurities are horrible. I know. I have a whole bunch of diagnosed disorders. But I am still trying to break that cycle. And i know how hard it is. But i guess i can not see what you are going through. Since you have this for so long and so intense.

    I truly wish you all the best and that you find a way to break this cycle and find joy.
    Sorry if I came across judgemental, I didn't know your history until now of course. You implied that I thank others posts just for the sake of it when I do it as a gesture to express appreciation, especially considering how busy people are, that's all. I live in a challenging environment which is stressful on top of my depression, I know that's not an excuse so apologies if it came across that way. I'm fully aware that people suffer just as much as I do.

    We actually have things in common in regards to your situation except with different context. Was your Avoidance disorder based on your childhood would you say?. I've been a recluse ever since my school days & my worrying nature stems from that pretty much. I can imagine it being debilitating for you to even go to the shop never mind attendin a meetup group like I have. It must be really hard, especially if you have depression on top of that. My depression is on top of my worrying mindset so I can't even see the woods from the trees tbh .

  10. #87
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Let me make this crystal clear.

    ~ I will NOT tolerate any flippant use of suicide, suggesting that you may do something when you are so lucky that it is NOT a serious issue that you genuine deal with on a daily basis.

    ~ I will NOT tolerate any belittling of any other member. You do NOT know what they are living with and you do NOT know how their mental health affects them on a daily basis

    ~ Getting help is NOT expensive. Go and speak to your GP and if you don't like them change.

    ~ No one is going to do this for you. If you want things to change then you need to do them yourself.

    I have decided that I am going to place your account on moderated posts for a while. I am not satisfied that you will not keep on breaking the guidelines I have set, I think that tonight's posts show that actually what you say and the way you say it is not only really triggering for others, but actually dangerous. I am shocked that someone who feels that they are the right kind of person to apply and volunteer for the Samaritans would EVER speak to anyone in the disrespectful and dangerous way you have tonight.

    If you choose not to post any more then that is your decision and I wish you well for the future. However I shall be closing this thread now and any further posts you make will have to be approved by me personally. I will not ask any of my team to deal with you after your posts tonight.

    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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  12. #88
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SA89 View Post
    Why has me simply replying to recent posts & giving an update annoyed you?. I shouldn't have assumed that about Mira so I apologize but I was replying to his post that implied I say thanks just for the sake for it when I genuinely appreciate every piece of advice I receive. It's not fair for you to say you're seriously annoyed, for what reason? I've not even said anything wrong, I was simply explaining a few things ffs!. When you respond in that manner it sets a precedence because you're a well respected member on here so now I look like a dickhead purely on your response. That's not right & it makes me wonder why I even bother on here at times.

    .
    You made an assumption that you have things so much worse to a vulnerable member. That is what you did wrong. That negates their experience. You're right, you shouldn't have assumed. You have no idea what those kinds of assumptions can do to those who are struggling.

    You've been asked countless times to stop and think about what you're saying before you post, we don't compare here. We don't say that we've got it worse than others. Everyone's experience is as valid as everyone elses. It really is as simple as that
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

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  14. #89
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    You’ve mentioned being a hypochondriac a few times so I’ve done a little research. This is the link to the NHS information on this debilitating condition https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/health-anxiety/ with info on symptoms that someone with hypochondria would have, and good ideas on how to help yourself recover from this. Perhaps your first step would be to get a diagnosis from a doctor and then ask for help in dealing with it. Like other chronic health conditions, recovery starts from oneself.

    As to your remarks to Mira, you were out of order. You obviously have no idea what struggles he has, no caring person would have made those comments otherwise. For 5 years now you come back to DWD regularly with exactly the same complaints and issues yet you refuse to help yourself - sometimes, yes, you start doing something but as soon as there’s a bump in the road you back out and blame everyone but yourself for it going wrong. Mira, on the other hand, works hard every single day to try to beat the conditions he has to deal with. And he does that while also showing a huge amount of empathy and care to every other member of this forum. And he never complains. In my opinion, you owe him an apology.
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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