Trials and tribulations of a Yorkshire pudding

[Jaquaia]

Maybe. And possibly because I sometimes think that how I feel is unreasonable.

[Paula]

How you feel is never unreasonable, as you tell us all the time ....

[Jaquaia]

I embrace hypocrisy!!!

[Suzi]

As do I my love, but only in myself... You need to spill.....

[Jaquaia]

Just one example... I follow him on fb, not sure how I did it but left it as it was as she can't see so no hassle. Yesterday he posted photos of T's half birthday party and tagged her and it bothered me. He warned me what he'd done but I'd already seen the post and I shrugged it off as ok. Except it raised my insecurities. It's the happy family illusion that it implies while our relationship is a secret, it's my head telling me that maybe he would prefer to have his children all the time and he would consider going back to her to achieve that. It's my head convincing me that she's expecting him to try again. I didn't tell him this as I knew he would apologise and he doesn't need to be sorry.

Seeing that written down makes it feel pathetic

[magie06]

It's not pathetic at all. It affects you therefore it's significant.
Thank you for sharing. It means a lot and I knew there was a lot on your mind.
It's a lot to go through when the person you love has children with a previous partner. The children will always come first, whatever the relationship with the partner is like. I think J is just trying to do that. Put his children first. Unfortunately Cruella is going to be in that picture too. I know it hurts, but I know you have the strength to overcome the hurt and push through.
Keep talking, keep telling us how hard and ty, and difficult it is. But know that you have it in you to be the better person.

[Paula]

If it was me at Katie’s party when she was younger, I’d have tagged her dad too. I wouldn’t have seen it as anything more than him being there. It’s not pathetic, love, but you do need to start trusting him. He’s said your relationship will only be secret for a few more weeks, if you love him you have to believe that there is no ‘happy families’ with Cruella.

[selena]

This situation can really hurt. You are actually very strong, although very fragile at the same time. I cannot judge, but I think she uses manipulations a lot. Anyway it will come to an end and you will finally be able to go together public.

[Jaquaia]

If it was me at Katie’s party when she was younger, I’d have tagged her dad too. I wouldn’t have seen it as anything more than him being there. It’s not pathetic, love, but you do need to start trusting him. He’s said your relationship will only be secret for a few more weeks, if you love him you have to believe that there is no ‘happy families’ with Cruella.

I trust him yet I can't shut up these voices that he can do so much better than me. I don't doubt for a second how he feels about me, it's my head that is screwed up. I understand why he tagged her, she was there and she is their mum, it just didn't stop it hurting. I thought that hurt was unreasonable so I never said anything

[Paula]

It’s not unreasonable but...... When Katies dad met his now wife, I was hugely pregnant with Jess. He told her about Katie, about me and about my pregnancy. Years later, she told me that she thought I was pregnant with his baby and it took her a long time to pluck up the courage to ask him. She could have walked away, and would have saved herself a lot of heartache if she’d just talked to him.......