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Thread: Depression and my relationship

  1. #1
    Ben
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    Depression and my relationship

    I'm really worried that depression is having a big impact on my relationship.

    It's making me really insecure and paranoid and I have constant self-doubt and overthink everything. I've even upset my girlfriend to the point that she's suggested I take a break from the relationship to get my head in gear. That is not what I want. It's even affecting my sex drive and I worry I will lose feelings for her and she will think that even though I really like her.

    So I'm just after some advice on how to deal with these thoughts as I worry they will destroy my relationship.

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Have you been open and honest with her and told her how you are feeling? I guarantee that whatever you tell her will not be worse than what she's got going round in her head... I know because my husband didn't tell me anything and I was convinced of so many other things....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #3
    Ben
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    Yes, I've been open and honest with her about it. Although she has never experienced it before, she's trying her best to understand and support me.

    I promised her I would try and look after myself by taking my tablets etc...and talking to her when I'm feeling down. I think that's fair enough as it can't be easy for her and she shouldn't have to put up with my moods all the time.

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    Suzi (07-04-19)

  5. #4
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    That's where my husband and I started too. Then I came to all his appointments with him etc...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  6. #5
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Dealing with the symptoms of mental health conditions, including mood swings, is tough but it sounds like you’re both really trying to make this work. My husband sees it as his responsibility to care for me and to help me through but we’ve been together 20 years. All you can both do is what you’re already doing. Actually, I think what you’re doing is exactly what you should be right now - and your honesty with each other will make a huge difference
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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  8. #6
    Ben
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    Thanks for all your advice.

    Yes, being open and honest is the best way to be in a relationship regardless of what it is.

    I don't expext her to understand but support is all I need and to no she's there for me, and thankfully she is.

  9. #7
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    That's awesome. She would be welcome here - we have separate male and female sections if it helps?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  10. #8
    Ben
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    I'll ask her, Suzi.

    I do still worry constantly though about our relationship and have this fear that she is going to get bored of me and end it.

    Like last night and today, she's said she has been feeling unwell. I half suspected she may suggest I don't meet her tonight as we'd arranged, and she did exactly that. I've said I still wanted to see her and she's alright with that but I can't get it out of my head that she's acted unwell bed she doesn't want to see me.

    I know it's awful of me to think that and I really want to ask whether that was the case, but I know it will upset her and that she will deny it. So I'm going to leave it but I just don't know how to deal with these constant thoughts. ��

  11. #9
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Ben - I've been with my now husband for 20 years and I've been with him through 2 breakdowns, panic attacks so bad that he couldn't leave the house and so much more. Sweetheart, honestly? I talk to him about it, he talks to me about how he is feeling and I talk to him about what's in my head. We've only lasted this long and through so much crap because we talk to each other...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  12. #10
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I agree with Suzi. My worst times with my husband have been when I’ve retreated into myself and he didn’t know what was going on in my head. It seems that, as long as he knows how I’m doing, he can handle it
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

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