Hi all,

I joined the forum I think around a year ago but lost my login as I haven't visited in quite a while.

I am at my wits end and just hoping someone who understands what I am going through will reach out. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, I am a 24 year old girl and from the outside there is nothing that I should be depressed about, which somehow makes it worse.

I have a very close family but I moved away from them 3.5 years ago, we speak every day but I don't feel like I can talk to them about anything as I don't want them to worry about me living away. I have a boyfriend who is supportive most of the time but he just doesn't understand how I feel. It's hard. This is one of the major issues, I think I have a touch of OCD about having a clean house and he doesn't agree or get it. But I cleaned for hours today while he was at work and he just came home and messed the place up and he doesn't care. it feels like he doesn't appreciate me or care what I do, he didn't even seem to notice.

As much as that seems like a small thing, it has really pushed me over the edge and made me join the site again. I don't think its the major problem but the major problem seems to be that small things like this are pushing me way too far.

I just feel like i can't cope.

I have a very stressful job which doesn't pay a lot and financial worries cause quite a lot of problems. I am struggling to get to sleep at night but when I do I don't want to wake up. I am finding it hard to get up out of bed and my eating habits are everywhere. I haven't eaten today at all but 6 out of 7 days I will binge eat and then feel even worse about myself.

I am not on any meds at the moment as the two SSRI's I have tried in the past made me feel nothing but flat.

I need a break and feel very on the verge at the moment. Just hoping I don't sound crazy or as though I am looking for sympathy, I'm not. I just hope someone out there has some tips for me to try to de-stress and to try to help me get better.

Thanks all for reading.
Dani