Selena on the Way to Wonderland *SH TRIGGERS*

[selena]

I can work from home and actually I have had a very few translations so far. And we are not paid for staying in the offices. She is a very difficult person and with the years she has got even more hard to cope with, for ex.putting her portray in each office etc.

Basically, I have 2 options:

1. To reject this order (nobody can force me), but there is a risk of breaking up any ties;

2. To risk and go there.

I have a reason, having a rather high insulin resistance score (HOMA-IR). She is not right at all.

[Stella180]

You’ve told her this?

[selena]

Not yet...I am going to, but I am really anxious indeed because I know her, so not expecting much success.

[Suzi]

Talk to her, tell her what's going on and see what she says. If you feel that you have no choice but go in then ask for protective clothing, hand sanitiser etc...

[selena]

Well, on a good side, my boss has given me one more week. It is very hard time indeed for many people, for me it is hard psychologically. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with painful memories (they might be good ones), related to my mom and grandma. I haven't overcame the tough grief period yet. My dad could behave in the future not exactly good, maybe, but moving to Latvia or at least visiting him now seems a kind of refugee of my despair and suicidal thoughts.

The guy I have been talking to...hasn't replied to me for around 10 days. No, I don't blame him, and unfortunately it is not the first time. He was unwilling maybe to have a LDR, yes, that is his choice. Maybe he is depressed too, he has confessed to me many things and of course trusted me and this will remain between us.
Maybe he hasn't lost anybody and cannot get my grief, but that was not nice of him at all to ignore my messages . He is not guilty I have lost some money, but it is unfair to be a coward.

[Suzi]

Glad you've got more time for your boss, but under your lockdown could you go to work anyway?
Sweetheart, it's all still raw for you with grief. You lost your Grandma and your Mum very quickly together. So it's going to take time.
If you want to spend some time with your Dad then please think very carefully about moving with him without at least spending time with him while you still have your home you can return to.....

I'm sorry the guy hasn't replied, but before you judge him harshly, remember you don't know what's going on for him. He might be ill, he might be struggling, he might have friends/family who are ill etc.... What money have you lost? He might not be a coward, it seems a little harsh to judge him like that when you don't know what's going on....

[selena]

Yes, I can work online from home and I have done a few translations so far. But actually a very few offers...I don't get my boss's conception that the situation is not serious, she is so weird, because nobody expected such a disaster. She received the authorization for the employees for work, if policemen ask.
Regarding my dad, I think you are right and it will be better to spend some time there before taking a final decision.

I mean the money for trip, although I have been lucky not to buy the return ticket and maybe the flight company will return something till the end of this year.
Yes, I know I can judge him harshly, it is such a hard period now and only time will tell.

[Paula]

I’m so sorry this man hasn’t replied, love, but Suzi’s right, you don’t know what situation he’s in. I do hope you hear from him soon

[selena]

I overcame the panick attacks and partially fears. I have been in the office for 2 weeks, although not too many people around. We have protection measures. The number of translations is slowly increasing day by day. The situation has not improved too much, but people return to work and more will return in the middle of May.

My dad called me again...I don't know, I thought he might be sincere this time, but who knows...

[Suzi]

Well done for overcoming the panic attacks lovely. Are you seeing your therapist again? What did your Dad call about?