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Thread: Selena on the Way to Wonderland *SH TRIGGERS*

  1. #861
    Guardian of the North and kipper holder Angie's Avatar
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    Selena if he wasnt your dad would you even consider going?
    You owe it to yourself to do what is right for you and not anyone else.
    If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving.
    Quote by Martin Luther King JR

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    selena (23-11-20)

  3. #862
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Mira and Stella and Angie are spot on. This man has never really been a father at all to you love. He's only interested purely and simply because he wants something from you..... It's time to do things FOR YOU.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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    Angie (23-11-20),selena (23-11-20)

  5. #863
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    No, I would consider going only for a holiday or for a relax/recovery time and I can barely imagine living with him in the same apartment.


    Thank you for your opinions, it helped me a lot.

  6. #864
    Are you sure it would be a relaxing visit? Sounds like all he does is pressure you.

  7. #865
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    No, I am not sure at all.

    After my mom's death, he had been stalking me for a year or less...each time asking me when I come to move in with them and why I haven't sold or mortgaged the apartment yet.
    The most important was "moving with him".
    Even my mom told me before her death to think carefully and decide myself after a while what to do next.
    So I hadn't been in a hurry. These had been the first months of recovery. My penpal was very supportive, I idealized him of course, but he was attentive and boosted my confidence. So did my local friend, she was in the same city before COVID break.

    I told him some time ago not to put pressure on me. So he was silent about mortgage, but keeps on suggesting living with him.

    Yes, Latvia is a nice country (talking about capital and seaside experience there), but I cannot see many advantages of moving there even for some months. Learning new language, basically the same social life as in my place (many men in the range 25-45 work abroad and 0 people I can talk to in real life). It is true that I can idealize some places, but getting some new experience in a country which language I can speak, it will be a better opportunity.
    I thought first that if I go to Latvia for relax, my Dad will try to take care of me, to the smallest extent. But I am afraid now, he just wants a caregiver.
    ,

  8. #866
    I’m sorry Selena but I don’t think, from what you’ve told us about him, that he is capable of putting anyone else’s needs above his own. He’s more interested in what you can give him and that’s not the kind of person you want in your life.

  9. #867
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I agree, and I think you’re right that he just wants a caregiver
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  10. #868
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I absolutely agree with Stella and Paula. Love you need to start living your life FOR YOU. Doing the things that YOU want to do, not what other people want you to do or what you think are expected of you. You are young, you are beautiful and very intelligent. The world is your oyster! Go and travel if you want, go and eat dinner in the restaurants you want etc etc Love, life is too short to be unhappy... Go, be free, follow your CBT and see the world if it's what YOU WANT to do.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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    selena (24-11-20)

  12. #869
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    I met this New Year alone due to lockdown, because my closer local friends had been in the other cities or with family. We of course communicated over internet...

    I want your opinion. I mean I regret some my feelings, but sometimes I am feeling angry with my dead mother, for example why she had not been more careful about her health on time etc. I know it is useless, just wonder if other people have such feelings too.

  13. #870
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm so glad to see you lovely. How was Christmas?

    It's very common to feel angry at someone who has passed on. It's a natural part of the grieving process. Be kind to you lovely....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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    selena (01-01-21)

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