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Thread: Selena on the Way to Wonderland *SH TRIGGERS*

  1. #821
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    I have never felt so frustrated in my life.
    A year passed since my mom's death, life goes on. Although the pandemic situation is hard in my place, the professional activity had not stopped and even improved.

    But I am feeling low and really willing to change location for a while, I cannot even take a holiday to nearby countries.

    My Dad has called me these days and yes, he told me he understands my current situation and that is hardly possible to travel anywhere. He had left his part-time job in order to take care of his old mother. His girlfriend is not involved too much. However, he asked me if that is really impossible for me to take a bank loan and leave to the bank my apartment. For this, it is a big NO. Then he told me he expects me next year there and that I will live together with him.
    Besides my depression, there are many questions here.

    I know Latvia is better than my country in legal and medical systems. But I should start everything really from the beginning. Maybe I am lazy, I don't know, but I don't want to learn one more language and to lose my time. Dating? About the same opportunities as in my country, as most of Latvians had gone abroad in the other European countries.

    When I had been unemployed in my country and asked them to remain there (around 7 years ago), they refused not to spend money on me. Each time he calls me, he insists he cares about me and I should live with him. I am not sure at all...if he lived in a country which language I could speak to a certain extent, I would consider this without any hesitations. I am not feeling good here, but my house is my safe place. My mom's friend said that is complicated and it would be nice for him to stay for a while at my place, like on visit or vacation. Because there is a risk I will not be able to live with him there. And sorry for what I am saying, I care a bit about him, but I don't love him.

  2. #822
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry things are difficult. I have to say that from an outsiders point of view I think moving in with your Dad is a terrible idea....
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    selena (26-09-20)

  4. #823
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I’m with Suzi, and I’m especially considered he’s asked you to mortgage your home for his benefit.....
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    selena (26-09-20),Suzi (26-09-20)

  6. #824
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    Selena maybe you need to really think about what you want, instead of being pulled in directions by other people.
    Think about where YOU would like to live, what language you would like to be speaking everyday, where would be best for you to find work and where would you have the best chance of living the life you want to live, socially, financially, scenery you want to look at every day etc.
    Once you figure out what you want then you know your direction.
    Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Strugglingmum For This Useful Post:

    Paula (26-09-20),selena (26-09-20),Suzi (26-09-20)

  8. #825
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    Hi, just wanted to say thank you to all members who have supported me so far...actually for long time. I am attached to all of you!!!You have been my rock.

    Wishing the best! And sorry if I don't always read and/or reply to your threads!

    Feeling guilty, useless, depressed...this often and due to this...

  9. #826
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hunni, it’s a difficult time right now, so it’s bound to hurt. You’re not useless, love....
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  10. #827
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  11. #828
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    Hi, I know I am feeling guilty to complaint and to come here with bad news...
    Travelling brings me some relief but now it is hardly possible...

    I have been working for days and nights the last month and I have achieved a good professional succes and career in my country so far, but I failed in my private life.

    Without giving any details and proving myself even more miserable than I am, what had helped some of you recover after a break up?

  12. #829
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    Time, a good cry, friends to tell me how wonderful I am and too good for him, a new hobby.

    Not being able to travel at the moment is horrible, especially for someone who gets such a buzz from it.
    You work so hard and are so clever, I'm glad you have acknowledged your success, be proud of it.... you deserve to be proud of all you have achieved.

    You have not failed in your personal life. You have spent the past years looking after your mum through illness, you have been grieving and adjusting to life without this important person in your life..... that is not failing.
    You may not have a significant other in your life right now but that is not failing, that is a season of your life which we have all been through.i know the longing of waiting to find the love of your life but enjoy the hobbies you can, enjoy your friends, take time to see the beauty around you.
    Being in a relationship does not guarantee happiness or a fairy tale ending, the important thing is to be able to fill your life with the things you enjoy. You are so much more than a relationship Xx
    Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Strugglingmum For This Useful Post:

    Paula (16-10-20),selena (16-10-20)

  14. #830
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    A relationship ending is not failure - it’s just a part of life. Very, very few people get through life without having relationships breaking down. In my case, if I hadn’t have been in my first marriage, I probably wouldn’t have kept in touch with Si all those years, and now I’m married to my soul mate.

    And SM is spot on, only time heals
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    selena (16-10-20)

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