Mira's adventures **trigger warnings**

[Jaquaia]

This is your thread on a depression forum. Talking about how bad your day is and why is not being doom and gloom, it's talking about how your illness is affecting you that day. Sometimes sharing those thoughts can help. People talk here in their darkest hours, we expect that and no one will ever judge you for it, so please, feel free to share your dark days as much as the brighter ones

[magie06]

Exactly. It's nearly more important to share the harder days than the easier ones. Please talk to us. We really want to know you better and help if we can.

[Mira]

Ok, I will try.

I have been thinking of overeating again. I can not get it out of my mind. The thing is that i am so worried I might develop bulimia. So now I am on the couch thinking I need food, I need food. But thats not all. Then I think I am a bad person because of it. So I do not deserve to watch netflix. Or do anything fun. Thats only for good people. This makes it worse and worse. Then somebody laught at my spelling earlier on. It was English and I made a mistake. So I feel horrible about that. I can not get things right today. Maybe I need more lessons. I can do better. So this leaves me spinning and spinning until I hurt myself. Or overeat and purge. Or wait till bedtime and sleep. The last thing is almost the worst one because there is no release that way.

Sorry all, i did try to keep it light and easy.

[Jaquaia]

You have no need to apologise lovely.

Shall I tell you what I take from all that? That you are suffering and need help to deal with your pain, and that the person who laughed at you for spelling a word wrong in a foreign tongue is an absolute cockwomble!!!!! I would say that you're a fluent english-speaker. And even native speakers make spelling mistakes. So you have absolutely no need to feel badly about that, it says more about them then it does about you.

I wish I could help with the eating thing. One thing I had suggested was drinking water makes you feel fuller? I don't know if that might help?

[Paula]

^^^wss couldn’t have said it better

[OldMike]

I totally agree with what Jaq said.

English is my native language yet I often make spelling mistakes so try not to worry about it.

[Suzi]

I don't think the overeating has anything to do with feeling hungry/full does it?

Sweetheart I constantly make mistakes and English is my first language and I have many qualifications in it too! Anyone who laughs when someone makes a genuine mistake isn't worth bothering with - unless it was Marc's psychotherapist ... Let me explain.
Marc's Psychotherapist I will call R and she is Greek (and amazing).
Marc was struggling to leave the house when he met her and they had been building up to him going to the sessions alone and then on going out alone etc... One of his sessions (about 9 months into it) he came home laughing so much. Apparently his homework that week had made him laugh. It took a lot for him to explain without laughing. She had said that she wanted him to go to Kingston (a big town near here) and expose himself... In English that means something different for what she meant! She meant for him to go into Kingston, stay a while and come home, then go back and go further and stay longer and come home - exposure therapy. What it meant in the way she said it was for him to go to Kingston and expose himself (show off his body/bits)!! We still laugh about that. It's so funny! She thought it was really funny too!

Everyone makes mistakes. You are HUMAN... you do what you can.....

[Mira]

I find it real difficult to say what the eating is about. I am hungry a lot even after meals. And during the day. But i had a year of things going good because i did lose a lot of weight. So this is all a bit new to me sadly.

I would crack up about things like that too. My friend is married to a girl from Hungary. And she made slip ups like that. It used to crack us up. But never in a mean horrible way.

Feeling low now so back to bed. Good night all.

[Jaquaia]

Hope you feel better in the morning lovely

[Suzi]

Hope tomorrow is brighter for you!