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Thread: families not coping with mental illness

  1. #1

    Question families not coping with mental illness

    not sure if this is the right place for the thread, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while.

    since forever i have tried to explain my mental health to my family. funny thing is i have multiple people in my family who work in mental health, but still don't seem to believe me when i speak to them.

    even after a diagnosis, even after treatment etc. (of which i had to get for myself which was hard as a kid and harder as a teen trying to convince people it's not just teenage angst) it's like there's a wall there and i can't seem to get them to listen.

    i tried sending them videos and articles etc. about mental health, but it's not that they don't have the knowledge. they just don't believe me specifically.

    i don't get why. i was never a compulsive liar even as a kid especially because they never listened.

    yet sometimes my family will throw it back in my face when they're angry, for example, "you're a burden" "why are you laughing when you have nothing to laugh about in your state" "you'll never be able to do XYZ" "the reason i don't want you to do XYZ is because of your anxiety"

    i always thought it was just my mental health but i'm finding out it also applies to physical health too. they just don't listen.

    how do i break down the wall and have a proper conversation instead of a one-sided one?

    perhaps if i were more independant and could do my own thing it wouldn't be a big deal, but i have a total of 0 friends, 0 partners and only family to rely on so yeah i need them a lot right now. most days i can't even leave the house let alone leave home.

    it always drags me back to square one when i'm starting to move forward with my depression. i feel like i'll never escape.

    i want a good relationship with my family but the only way to have that is if it's one-sided with me always apologising for what i haven't done, saying yes to everything and keeping quiet whenever everyone else makes a mistake but accepting it when mine are aired out for the whole family to see.

    i do love my family, and i know everyone makes mistakes and no one's perfect, it's just hard right now for all of us i guess. but it isn't like i got ill overnight.

    i don't know what to do.

    i think it's worse when there's something they want me to do that i either can't do or think will be harmful. for example:

    family: go for a run.

    me: i hurt my ankle.

    family: it'll be good for you.

    me: but i was told to rest.

    family: you're letting your anxiety get in the way.

    me: no, i just don't want it to get worse.

    family: you don't want to get better.

    so i end up pushing myself to do things and often making my family feel better but myself feel worse, and there's no support for me when i feel worse after, it's just oh get over it you're being dramatic.

    sigh.

    sorry this post is so long.

    can anyone relate?

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
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    Surrey. UK
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    77,495
    Ouch! How dare they say things like that to you?! Sweetheart you can get through this, you deserve to be happy...

    You never need to apologise for a long or a short post here. I hope you'll get to know us as friends. I've made some amazing lifelong friends through here.
    Hunni, not everyone is like that. I assume you've tried things like the time-to-change website? Info from Mind?
    Please always remember that I am always right. I have a framed certificate to prove it.

    When in doubt, stop and think... WWSS? (What Would Suzi Say?)
    For more info please see
    THIS thread


  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
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    Jane Austen country
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    41,846
    Lovely, I’m so sorry. Actually, I’m appalled. No one should be made to feel like that by anyone else, particularly their family. I promise you will never hear anything like that from members here ...
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

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