Nothing makes me happy *SH triggers*

[Allalone]

I just managing to cook, I’m cleaning when I have a manic moment and can’t sit down and I’ve not driven in a couple of days.
They know I’m off work with severe anxiety and know that the home treatment team are visiting but they don’t know how serious it is. Up until this last week any thoughts I’d have about suicide would immediately go when I thought of my 3 kids but that’s gone now and it scares me. I feel numb. The youngest wanted a hug earlier and I didn’t get that usual feeling from it. They are helping but could probably do a bit more.

[Suzi]

Sweetheart talk to them. I learnt that actually by not talking to mine about how my husband and I are then actually they worry for more... If you need help, ask for it.

[Allalone]

It’s difficult. I don’t know whether I can do it. Where do I start?

[Paula]

It’s difficult. I don’t know whether I can do it. Where do I start?

Honestly. I know how hard it is to have that conversation but it’s important. I tend to go with ‘you may have noticed I’m not feeling myself at the moment .....’

[Allalone]

Do I have to mention suicidal thoughts? I’m not sure what info to say and what not to. I haven’t discussed past trauma with them, do they need to know? I feel totally hopeless and feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. Nothing makes me happy and to think a month ago I was still working full time. Where do I go from here?

[Suzi]

I've had a bit of a nightmare with my own health over the last few months and actually I started my conversation with "Right, you know that I've been struggling and feeling more sh*t recently? Well I want to talk you through what's happening, what I need you to do and what I don't need. You can ask any questions you have, and I'll answer everything as best as I can, although if I don't want to talk about it, I'll ear mark it for later if that's OK?"

Cross posted, so adding stuff here.

You don't have to go into details of the trauma, but you can say that something happened, you'd rather not discuss it at the moment and that you'll tell them when you've dealt with it enough to talk to them about it.

Trust them.

[Allalone]

Thanks.

I’ll try tonight.

[Suzi]

It'll feel strange, but from someone looking in at my husband and his struggles with his mental health when he finally told me how he was feeling it made everything easier - at least I knew and actually I had been imagining all sorts... We've been together nearly 20 years. We speak openly about health including mental health as it helps each of us, but it helps our children too - to know that it's OK not to be OK all the time and sometimes even their parents need help....

[Allalone]

Home treatment team been out to drop meds off and take my blood pressure. They are increasing the visits to daily again as they are concerned about how low my mood is and my increase in self harm. They are going to call me later to see how I am.
I’m on the sofa with Ted and going to search Netflix for something to watch.

[Paula]

I’m glad they’re coming out daily at the moment, lovely. One day at a time ....