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Thread: Me, part 673 *TRIGGERS*

  1. #1001
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Awesome Twitter!

    What a complete cow! I'm so glad you're not going with her anymore.
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  2. #1002
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    I've had a huge knot in my chest almost all day, even after taking propranolol. I was trying really hard to concentrate on going round a corner and getting my gears and she was asking loads of questions and today concentrating and answering questions was a step too far. She's taken that as me blanking her so I told her it would be my last lesson. She was very abrupt when we got back to mine. Told her I didn't want a refund as she made her terms and conditions very clear and there wasn't 48 hours notice so I was ok with full payment. She started going on about how she was just teaching me things I needed to know and her priority was the safety of people both in and outside the car and going on about me not answering questions was an issue and saying I was concentrating wasn't a good enough excuse to blank her. I had no praise for things I was doing right at all. So I told her that she lost my trust last week when she told me I had no choice but to do Holderness Road whether I liked it or not after telling me that she would never make me do something I'm not comfortable with. Her response was I can't keep driving around the same areas and I was doing ok doing the traffic lights near me and that's a main road too. Yes it is, except the road near me isn't a 2-lane A-road... Apparently stalling wasn't an issue yet at the time I was constantly being told I had to be faster. Anyway, told her I'd had a huge knot in my chest all day because I was dreading my lesson and I shouldn't be feeling like that. If she'd actually been watching me, she would have seen that I was adjusting to what she said, just verbalising was too much today. And that was down to her. The way she spoke to me made me feel like a naughty schoolgirl outside the headmasters office. I felt attacked by her. I told her about how nervous I was and about my anxiety before she agreed to teach me, if she couldn't adjust her teaching to that then she shouldn't have taken me on imho
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

  3. #1003
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Well said! What a horrible person..
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  4. #1004
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Her response when I said I shouldn't be dreading my lessons was "fair enough", that was it. No apology about me feeling that way. She justified it by telling me she told me she would push me and she wouldn't make me do something she didn't think I could do and that I'm capable of a lot more than I think. Maybe so, but there are ways of interacting with people to coax the best out of them and all she's managed to do is make me feel like a failure. I understand that she's teaching me to do what I need to do but I've said a couple of times that I may need a bit longer to grasp some things, I'm academic, not practical. I'm struggling with stopping and starting, how is making me do an A-road going to help me achieve that? Even when I managed better than normal today, nothing was said, no positive reinforcement at all, just negative. I know that I sometimes need pushing but if I feel attacked or pushed too hard I shut down. She's destroyed the little bit of confidence I was starting to feel.
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

  5. #1005
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    You're so much better off without her!
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  6. #1006
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    It does feel like a weight off my shoulders
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

  7. #1007
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Then you know it was the right thing to do..
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  8. #1008
    Librarian and chief holder of antiquities and biscuits Jaquaia's Avatar
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    Just spoken to the instructor J's friend recommended. He's so lovely!!!! Spent almost 20 minutes on the phone with him, he put me at ease straight away, he has no problem teaching the same thing over and over again, in fact he taught one woman for 4 years before she passed her test, and he also teaches people with autism and aspergers. He told me he doesn't really care what someones diagnosis is, if they have the ability then he will teach them as we're all human at the end of the day. He's recommended 1 and a half to 2 hour lessons as that way, if I need to practice something to death then I have plenty of time. He's hoping to get me started around mid-February

    Oh and he also agreed that teaching so negatively is counterproductive!!!
    Tên përdu, jhamâi së rëcôbro

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    Suzi (29-01-19)

  10. #1009
    Guardian of the North and kipper holder Angie's Avatar
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    Well done on telling her and you made the right decision. The thing is that teaching you to drive is her job that she gets paid for so now she has one less person paying her but also she will of lost a recommendation which is a big thing for driving instructors and it is down to her own attitude that has happened, She should of taken it slower with you and built your confidence up in not only yourself and your driving but in her, the reality is she did the opposite so personally it is down to her own self this happened dont let her worry you know she is gone xx
    If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but by all means keep moving.
    Quote by Martin Luther King JR

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    Jaquaia (28-01-19)

  12. #1010
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Ahha, you have found your instructor! That's exactly what Claire was like for me and most importantly Ben!

    How are you today?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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