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Thread: New and needs help

  1. #1

    New and needs help

    I am new to the site. I have a boyfriend who suffers from depression and wants to "end things" because he cannot cope with the pressure and it not suited for a relationship. Is that the illness talking or does he really prefer to be left alone. I know each case is different but I would appreciate your feedback. Could you also recommend any good book that explains a bit what is going on in his head and how can the partner help/ accompany him?

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Surrey. UK
    Hi and welcome to DWD!
    I can relate to your position as it was my partner (now husband) who had a breakdown which led me to starting this place.
    It's tough. It's really tough. You're fighting against something you can't see and you don't know the rules of the game - neither does he. The depression is going to be telling him that he's not good enough, that you are better off without him and you have to make a decision as to what you want. It's not all doom and gloom and I've been with my better half for almost 20 years. We've been through 2 breakdowns, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, social phobia and I say "we" because I've tried to be there at every stage with him, go to the drs, the therapy - as much as I could because we are a "we" itms? We've got married, had 3 children, several house moves, grief on both sides and dogs - including 12 foster dogs! It's not easy, but you can do it, but you have to talk, talk and keep talking.
    Has he seen a Dr about how he is feeling? Medication? Counselling?
    Last edited by Suzi; 20-09-18 at 09:47 PM.
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  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (20-09-18)

  4. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Jane Austen country
    Hi and welcome . Yes itís probably the illness talking, Iím afraid. Itís important you make sure he knows you love him - even little things like taking him a cuppa without him asking can make a difference. Itís even more important that you take care of yourself because caring for someone with mental health problems is challenging and exhausting
    ĎWhen all else fails, use glitter insteadí

  5. #4
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Off his tree in Manchester UK
    Hi Slomka, sounds like it is the illness talking. I can't really add anything to Suzi's excellent post.
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  6. The Following User Says Thank You to OldMike For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (21-09-18)

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