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Thread: New here - Don't know whether to see my GP

  1. #1

    New here - Don't know whether to see my GP

    Hi, I'm new here and I don't know whether I might have a form of depression or I'm just being a hypochondriac. Iím not after a diagnosis or anything but I guess I just need some advice on whether itís worth seeing my GP.

    Iím just over 40, male, good job, nice house, wife, kids, no major traumas past or present. I should be happy and content.

    Iíve struggled with my moods over perhaps the last 25 years (17 onward). The worst period was when I was in my late 20ís where I had maybe a 4month period where I was not in a good mental state. I would be very, very down nearly every day, i didnít want to go on, at one point I actually started to think the world around me wasnít real if that makes sense (very strange when I look back). I came out of it and I havenít had anything that severe since. I think at that point I was depressed and should have seen someone.

    Anyways on a continual basis I have periods where Iím ok and can function in life OK. I can focus on work, I do my hobbies, meet friends and family. There are odd days where Iíve had a bad day but on the whole Iím content and happy. This can last weeks and even months. I would say this is ďnormalĒ me.

    Iíve also had periods where Iím super productive in the things I do. I can obsess about my hobbies a lot, work obsessively (all night even, although kids have stopped this trait a bit) and generally be really productive. The things I do when Iím in this way, I generally do quite obsessively. This generally lasts weeks rather than months and is followed up by me burning out, a crash and period of inactivity, sadness, lack of motivation, unable to function at work, loss of interest in friends and family.

    I can also have periods where out of nowhere, all of a sudden itís like everything starts to fall in on itself. I start behaving unlike myself, I start to engage in destructive behaviour that is not good for my marriage. I become very insular, stop meeting up with friends and family, Stop communicating with my wife, I stop doing my hobbies, my eating patterns and daily habits go out of the window and I canít focus on work. My mind races like crazy and the destructive behaviour becomes obsessive. When Iím in this state itís like I just donít care, like Iím a different person. I can get angry with my family and snap at them. Iím not saying I feel sad in this state, in fact in some ways I feel the opposite. This can last several weeks. Then I start to come down to earth and either go back to ďnormalĒ me or can have a period of sadness, guilt, lack of motivation again.

    Well that was a bit of a ramble and Iím not after any kind of diagnosis but these cycles of ups and downs are doing my fricking head in and Iím going to end up losing my job and or my family if I donít do something about it soon. They seem to be getting worse as the years go by.

    The reason why Iím reluctant to go to my GP is because itís not like I canít get out of bed in the morning or have suicidal thoughts. Iíve been around a couple of people with severe depression and I feel a bit of a fraud to put myself in the same category as them but something is not right and its having a detrimental effect on my life.

    I guess what Iím asking, in a very lengthy and convoluted way, is has anyone else had a similar experience, does it sound like depression and is it something my GP would be able to help with?


    Thanks x

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD. I would absolutely advocate you going to see your GP - you could print out this post and take it to them and hand it over if you find it difficult to talk to them.
    Have you told your wife what is happening?


  3. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    I completely agree with Suzi that you should see your doctor and printing this post would help a lot at your appointment.

    Everybodyís experience with mental health conditions are individual to them - as with anything in life, we all react differently so, just because 2 people have varied symptoms to each other does not mean theyíre not struggling with the same issues. And, of course, thatís where medical professionals come in. Your health is just as important as anyone elseís. Youíve been struggling with this a very long time - itís time to get some help
    ĎWhen all else fails, use glitter insteadí

  4. #4
    Hi,

    Thankyou Suzi and Paula for your responses. My wife knows that I struggle with things sometimes and about a year ago I put certain structures in my life like meditation and daily habits that help me build structure into my life. She doesn't know how bad things seem to be getting though or that I'm concerned I could have depression. She would be supportive if she did.

    I've booked an appointment with the doctors this afternoon and I'll print this out and take it with me as although I have no problem with talking to the doctors about it, it can be very difficult to explain sometimes.

  5. #5
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Talk to your wife. Let her know what's going on..

    Please let us know how you get on at the Drs! That's a hugely positive step!


  6. #6
    Hi,

    I went to the doctors and saw the nurse practitioner there. I showed her the printout and talked to her more about my history.

    She was very supportive and listened well, she does think I have depression. Given the length of time, the fact my moods tend to fluctuate and the fact that it doesn't seem to be triggered by any specific events she has suggested that therapy or a combination of therapy and medication may be an option further down the line but the first step is to have an assessment with NHS Talking Mental Health in our area who offer therapy and assessment. I left a message with them yesterday and will chase them up today to make an appointment.

    Is it normal that I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing here, I honestly feel a little ashamed? What if I'm imagining all this? I honestly don't know if I feel better or worse for talking to someone about it. That's nothing against the doctors, she was very easy to talk to and I felt really comfortable. I think I just need to get into my head that there is something wrong and whether it's depression or something else then at least I'm doing something about it.

    Thanks for your support.

  7. #7
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    I get that feeling why me, why is everyone okay but me which is an illusion. It's a good thing that you've started to seek help and is a very positive step. Oh how remiss of me, welcome to DWD Jambuttie
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  8. #8
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    You havenít done the wrong thing at all but youíre not the only one who has mixed feelings in these situations. Itís hard to admit you might have mental health problems - it shouldnít be, but thatís the society we live in. Thatís sh forums like DWD are vital. It gives us somewhere to talk and not be judged.

    You done brilliantly in telling the nurse everything and Iím so glad sheís being proactive and supportive.
    ĎWhen all else fails, use glitter insteadí

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  10. #9
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm so pleased she was supportive and helpful.
    I agree with the others, you have done nothing wrong and actually you're doing the right thing by talking...


  11. #10
    Thanks everyone and thanks for the welcome. I know deep down something isn't right or I wouldn't be on here typing this. My head is a bit foggy today which is probably not helping matters.

    Talking Mental Health called me and I have a telephone assessment next Friday (face to face is a longer wait) where they will decide which services might benefit me.

    I'll talk to my wife tonight about it too.

    Thanks again.

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