New Member *AB Triggers*

[PandorasBox]

Hi, .... this is a massive step for me and I don't know what to say.

I have been living with depression for 29 years, and I'm only 34 years old.

I've never sort help in all that time. I should have done, many times, but I'm very stubborn and I won't give in.

I've never used a forum to express any sort of my feelings before. I'm finally doing this because I might be pregnant with my third, and I need something to keep me stable.

I'm the oldest of 5. We all have different dads. None of us were allowed to know our dads. My mother was extremely abusive to me and my siblings growing up. No one ever found out the abuse, I've only ever told my partner.

I can say I've been depressed since I was 5 because that's when it all started.

I know I'm a good mother, I just have hard days, and I'm worried with my third child that things might get worse.

I don't smoke, drink or drugs.

I eat! I eat a lot! And now I'm on the brink of having diabetes.

I just need a place to talk openly about everything.