Loneliness *SU Trigger*

[Strugglingmum]

My psychologist came back from sick leave yesterday and saw me this afternoon.
So,
She was a bit concerned about what has been going on in my head and some of the symptoms I've been displaying and just me overall.

She wanted me to go to HTT and I eventually agreed. I kept telling her I didn't understand why she was so extreme in her worry when cmh werent concerned.
Anyway she was back to back appointments all afternoon so she let me leave on the condition I stayed close to the hospital until she had spoken to HTT and organised a handover. Oh and that I gave her all my paracetamol.
I hung around the hospital until she phoned me and left me a message to go on home and she would phone me later.

Basically htt couldnt accept the referral from her solely as she is not my designated key worker that joy belongs to the lovely lady I so enjoy visiting.
Htt tried to contact my worker, couldn't get her so spoke to her team lead (who hasn't a clue who I am). He told HTT he would get her to step up the support over next few days to try and get me thru til my appt with my consultant next week. HTT phoned my psychologist and explained this but that they would step in at any time to support.
So my cmh worker is to contact me over next day or so to be supportive. My psychologist has basically said that if things are no better I've to phone her and she will get back on to HTT to take the lead. To be honest I've a feeling my cmh worker will be gutted that her boss didn't just agree to me going to htt and will want to send me there herself.
I don't want to see her but I feel I owe it to my psychologist to at least try so we can honestly say we tried but its not helping. My psychologist really goes above and beyond her role at times.. I'm very lucky to have her.
My psychologist is also talking about she wants my psychiatrist to reassess my diagnosis? ??? Not too sure what that is all about.
Anyway just thought I'd update you as to where things are at. I'm ok but I also promised my psychologist that I would speak to A tonight and try and explain where my head is and about my meds etc.

[Suzi]

Do talk to A.. It's something we've been talking about here too...

Are you changing worker? Did you tell your psychologist everything and how bad her support had been? Did you tell her what she's been saying?

[Strugglingmum]

Yip. Thats why she tried to go over her head and also why she has htt ready to jump in if/when I can't do it with her. She's too professional to say anything against her but I know her well enough now to see in her face how she is thinking. She also was able to log in to see what cmh had written about our last few contacts. She was not happy about some of the choices the worker had made as to how to proceed and her assessment of the risk. I feel more secure knowing she has my back.

[Suzi]

Good!

Are you going to talk to A?

[Strugglingmum]

That remains to be seen. I'm really peeved at him as he went among the missing for 3hours with no explanation why he's so late home and I'm too thran to ask. Of course I'm thran about everything this weather so nobody would notice

[Suzi]

"thran?"

Hope he's home and safe and well and that you two are able to talk things through..

[Strugglingmum]

Sorry norn Irish word.
Means stubborn.
E.g. he knows he is wrong but is too than to apologize. No chance tonight. He fell asleep on the sofa. I'm going to bed.

[Suzi]

Thanks for the translation! I like it!

Any chance of talking to him tonight?

[Paula]

What is your current diagnosis, lovely?

[Strugglingmum]

What is your current diagnosis, lovely?

Oooooo which one.. ??
At first I was severe depression then they added on general anxiety disorder.
After that they added on emotionally unstable personality disorder and dissociative personality disorder, however my psychologist says these 2 are not accurate and that all those symptoms can be explained by PTSD.
Now being off my meds for a month she feels that I may be bipolar. I was on quetiapine to help manage my depression and anxiety and now I've been off it she feels she is not sure my 'hyper' periods can be totally explained by insomnia induced mania which is what she initially thought. I'm also hearing things and sometimes seeing people who aren't there. I sometimes wish I could get my psychiatrist and psychologist in the same room to thrash it out between them .Anyway we'll see what happens when I see my psychiatrist next week.