Loneliness *SU Trigger*

[Strugglingmum]

Morning, sweetheart. Did you get any sleep? How are you feeling?

Morning Paula. And Happy Birthday. A drove to our or Hours Gp at 1am and got me a sleeping tablet. I finally took it at 2:30am. I'm literally only awake at 11:30 and that's because Katie came up and jumped all over me whinging..... I think she thought I was never going to wake.
Anyway A communication and the sleeping tablet will be logged for Monday morning.
I can't believe a Dr gave him a sleeping tablet for me because I was a bit hype. I don't know what he must gave told them!!

[Suzi]

Sounds like it was a bit more than, "a bit hyper" hunni.
I'm really glad that A called and got you some help and that you have slept.

[Strugglingmum]

So one night's drugged induced sleep and i am back to being in the wide awake club.
Anyone fancy a midnight/3am swim?? Although the beach was Baltic earlier. Wondering if A would notice if I went out driving for the rest of the night. Wondering just how far i could get before they get up at 6:20?.
Would they even get up if i dont nag???????? Questions questions questions.
All I need now are some answers.

[Paula]

Hunni, can you get an emergency appointment with your doctor?

[Strugglingmum]

I'm at the training centre today. Have an appt with my psychologist later this afternoon.

[Suzi]

Hope it goes well, I hope you're going to be really honest - it might help to show them some of your posts from here?

[Strugglingmum]

Told my psychologist everything....I think. She is contacting my consultant to let him know where things are at and to take a lead from him re: meds etc.
She also contacted the community mental health worker assigned to me and explained how I was and what had triggered over Chistmas etc.
I then got a phonecall from this worker who asked a few questions about if this was a yearly thing, me going off my meds at Christmas and whether I was ready to go back on my meds and I said my head was all over the place. She said she would see me Thursday week but I was old enough to know the consequences of not taking my meds and if I wasn't ready to help myself then she couldn't either. She said, you know the advice if you Od you need to get checked out. If you cut yourself you're just asking for infection. So all in all I felt very supported after that conversation and I still don't know what to do about the hyper moods. My psychologist says they could be insomnia induced but also could be more(She didnt expand). I don't really know if I can do anything else but wait and see if the consultant replies to my psychologist. Anyway I see her next Monday.

[Suzi]

I hope you are going to ask to change worker and tell them the reasons why - how bloody dare they speak to you like that? I'm furious!
Call your psychologist and tell them what this person said to you!!

[Paula]

What??? That’s ing disgusting and I’m furious for you! You should never, ever have to accept that sort of ‘care’

[Strugglingmum]

I'm too tired to fight them.
I asked for help and to be fair my psychologist did what she could including spending nearly an extra hour with me.
If my own CPN was around it would be different. To be fair this worker doesn't know me and I'm guessing hasn't deeply read my notes or she would know I'm not in the habit of just stopping my meds. She would know that I so rarely ask for help that it's a big sign to my CPN if I actually phone in. To be fair everything she said was true, No One can say that she was wrong in any point. Maybe a different way of putting things would have been nice.
My psychologist did suggest HTT again but I don't like stepping backwards. Anyway. A has insisted on a sleeping tablet tonight and I've agreed. Maybe a bit of sleep will help.