I think we've all felt like that and wished we could be someone else who had a charmed life who just sailed along without a care in the world but life isn't like that. You are a very special person and the world is a far better place because you are in it.
77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"
It was silly really, I was having a bit of a crappy evening, my boiler is on the blink at the moment and I couldn't get hot water to wash the pots for the umpteenth time, then a shelf randomly collapsed in one of the cupboards (same thing happened a few days ago in a different cupboard) so I was a tad stressed when my fiance came home. Tried to tell him what was going on and he jokingly said "so you've broken the other shelf now" of course in my messed up state of mind I thought he was having a go at me so I got a bit snappy, this caused L to get mad at him too (he's not her real dad and she tends to stand up for me if she feels like he's upsetting me, which is good but she took it too far today) so he got upset and said he felt like we were ganging up on him and he went home (he lives 2 doors down from me, we share a back garden) even after I apologised for taking what he said the wrong way and getting my back up about it (he did accept my apology and said he loved me but he still left leaving me feeling inadequate) on top of that L decided to bring on the attitude for no apparent reason when I thought after that (and especially now I've explained things to her) she might be more supportive, I know it doesn't sound like much but it just made me feel really low to the point where I was thinking me and the fiance should take a break because I'm just no good for anybody right now
None of that sounds silly to me at all! We're redoing our kitchen at the moment and it's total chaos. Today I've dropped a cupboard, smashed a glass and broken my previously really easy to break toe - my husband and son have taken the P massively... Some days it's ok and some it's not. I totally understand....
BUT you are more than needed, loved and wanted.... I promise you that.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
sweetheart, it’s not silly if it’s upset you. I just hope that tomorrow is so much better than today for you
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
How are you today lovely lady?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Like I want to crawl into a hole and not come out again... Roll on Thursday for my doctors appointment! I wish I knew what was happening with my counselling, it feels like it's been such a long time since my telephone appointment
Can you ring about the counselling to find out?
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Please don't give up. I understand how down you must feel to say that, but you will get better. I understand how uncontrollable those thoughts are, they come and go. But there the ponit is, when they come, try to remember that eventually they will go as well. Talk to us, we care. And we won't give up on you, and neither should you. I have also wanted to be someone else so badly... But Le dude told me "honey just be your self, every one else is already taken". It was eye opening. Even being me is sorta painful, he still chose to be with me. He ain't stupid, so I gotta be worth it. It goes for you too. We believe in you!
I am fluent in finnish, swedish, english, sarcasm and profanity.
magie06 (07-08-18)
Hey sweetheart, Sissy's Le Dude is right. I know you're struggling right now, but I promise you that you are needed, valued and that you can get through this...Can you call your Dr and see if there's a cancellation sooner? Call counselling and ask what's happening with that...
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
I'm feeling a little better now than I was earlier, still not fully myself (although am I ever these days? Sometimes I feel like the depression and anxiety have taken over my body and I'm just watching it go through the motions from somewhere else) had a pleasant chat with my next door neighbour/best friend this evening which we never seem to do anymore (the blame is on both of us, we just don't seem to make the effort any more, really must try to) which helped take my mind off everything, just been a bit out of sorts today as I only saw my fiance very briefly this afternoon, even though everything is sorted now my brain won't let go of it, there's not much point in trying to reschedule my doctors appointment but if I've not heard from the counselling by next week I'll try and ring up
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