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Thread: New and needs help

  1. #1

    New and needs help

    I am new to the site. I have a boyfriend who suffers from depression and wants to "end things" because he cannot cope with the pressure and it not suited for a relationship. Is that the illness talking or does he really prefer to be left alone. I know each case is different but I would appreciate your feedback. Could you also recommend any good book that explains a bit what is going on in his head and how can the partner help/ accompany him?

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Surrey. UK
    Hi and welcome to DWD!
    I can relate to your position as it was my partner (now husband) who had a breakdown which led me to starting this place.
    It's tough. It's really tough. You're fighting against something you can't see and you don't know the rules of the game - neither does he. The depression is going to be telling him that he's not good enough, that you are better off without him and you have to make a decision as to what you want. It's not all doom and gloom and I've been with my better half for almost 20 years. We've been through 2 breakdowns, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, social phobia and I say "we" because I've tried to be there at every stage with him, go to the drs, the therapy - as much as I could because we are a "we" itms? We've got married, had 3 children, several house moves, grief on both sides and dogs - including 12 foster dogs! It's not easy, but you can do it, but you have to talk, talk and keep talking.
    Has he seen a Dr about how he is feeling? Medication? Counselling?
    Last edited by Suzi; 20-09-18 at 09:47 PM.
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  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (20-09-18)

  4. #3
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Jane Austen country
    Hi and welcome . Yes itís probably the illness talking, Iím afraid. Itís important you make sure he knows you love him - even little things like taking him a cuppa without him asking can make a difference. Itís even more important that you take care of yourself because caring for someone with mental health problems is challenging and exhausting
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  5. #4
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Off his tree in Manchester UK
    Hi Slomka, sounds like it is the illness talking. I can't really add anything to Suzi's excellent post.
    73 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike" - The worst Christmas Joker 2018 & 2019
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  6. The Following User Says Thank You to OldMike For This Useful Post:

    Suzi (21-09-18)

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