Thought I'd post an update
I've made a few steps in the right direction over the past 2 weeks started to talk to my friends again I've been into work and had a chat with colleagues which left me feeling relived.

I'm planning on going back on a phased return but work want me to work 1hour X 5 days a week and gradually increase but I can't survive on that money come the end of the month if I'm loosing my ESA payments.

The only negative I can think of if finding out 1 of my close work friends has got engaged which made me feel sick and start worrying that he'll be leaving soon,and that my life seems to be going nowhere. I don't know why I feel like this, I should be happy right? I've always had trouble dealing with friends moving on or leaving right back to school it seems to set me panicking that I'll be alone.