New and running out of options! *SU Trigger*

[dcalong]

Hi,

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I'll keep it simple and to the point.

There's a lot of history and information to go through but I'll stick to more recent events. Over the past couple of years my depression has got worse and little things are starting to affect me more than they should. I've been to ER with panic attacks thinking they were heart attacks, this has happened on a couple of occasions. I've been to my doctors and had CBT, with three different therapists with the final one saying that CBT isn't for me. I've previously spoken with a counsellor and made no progress. I somehow manage to push away people that I get close to, one way or another and it keeps happening. The only constant people in my life are my parents and I believe that's only because they don't really have a choice.

I'm at a loss and now in the stage of, I don't want to live but I don't want to die. I've thought about suicide but just can't go through with it.