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Thread: Downs that make you not want to get Up?!

  1. #1

    Downs that make you not want to get Up?!

    Folks,

    I've had depression for a lot of my 55 years but I've never quite found anything to explain what's "going on" at the moment. I had a trawl through the threads here but can't find anything similar so was hoping that someone might relate to this.

    On "normal" days I'm up by 6am, take time to get myself together (one my self-helps is not to rush for anyone but also to give myself time to do things properly) and then walk to work (a couple of miles) listening to anything from John Denver to Mozart to Guns 'N' Roses. Not, I might add, at the same time . I love what I do (I'm an accountant with other strings (to my bow)) and, whilst there's pressure, there are many ways to cope with it which I've spent years learning. Work fulfilled, Boss happy, bus back home, read a book, sleep. All good.

    Over the last few months I've had spells of complete downturns in mood and mindset and there's been mornings, which often turn into days, where I can't even raise my head. These became so bad that I resigned my position last week. I have become so tired of fighting this that I have no will or energy to continue.

    I've seen my doctor several times and he's continued to prescribe Venaflaxin (although I have best results with Ashwaghanda, Magnesium and Milk Thistle).

    Work has been really supportive and have asked me not to leave however I've said that I'll only stay if I can be reliable to them. Work is important as is my ethic behind it and if I'm not there doing the job that I'm paid to then I shouldn't be there.

    I've worked through lots of ups and downs in the Fight Against the Evil "D" but this one seems straight out of left-field. I don't understand it and so can't explain it. I was talking to my Boss and we were trying to find any kind of trigger that she could help fend off or look out for. I've searched my head and lifestyle to try and figure it out however I'm at a complete loss.

    I've changed little in my life recently; I live alone but then I have done for years, I interact as I normally do at work, I haven't changed medicines or diet. I speak to my son every couple of weekends as normal but, even after that (we're close and can natter for ever), there's no telling whether the next day will be a Good or Bad one. The Bad Days aren't just Bad...they're Really Bad. I've gone to sleep happy as the proverbial Sand-Boy and woken up in the darkest of what I refer to as my "dark-corner(s)". It takes days to shake it and, as I mentioned, I'm so tired of the constant swings that, to me, giving up work isn't a choice; it's an obligation.

    Hence the reason for this post. Has anyone reading this had a similar experience(s)? Does anyone understand it? Can anyone explain it? Most of all...what's the remedy??!

    Thanks for any help, support or sharings. I had hoped to keep this brief but it turned out as something of an epistle so, if you read this far, thank you again!!

  2. #2
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    In the 25 years (probably more though didn't know what it was) I've suffered from depression is that it largely doesn't make sense you think you've mastered it and everything is going along fine then out of nowhere it rears its ugly head.
    71 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"
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  3. #3
    Not "nagging" really... Suzi's Avatar
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    I know for my husband there isn't always an obvious trigger for his mood to spiral downwards either... It sometimes just "is"
    Today I aim to be the best person I can be.
    That mean that yesterday or tomorrow I might be a better person,
    but today's best is more than good enough for today.

  4. #4
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason. We know so little about how our brains work and how depression works. Have you thought about doing a mood diary? It may help you narrow down any possible triggers
    Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

  5. #5
    Hi there,
    Welcome to DWD. Have you ever been referred to a psychiatrist? Speaking from a personal perspective, this was the turning point for me. The correct medication can be life changing. It sounds like you are being fair with work and that they are being very supportive. Could you ask for a couple of months off to get the help you require?
    One day at a time ....😃

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