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Thread: Hello everyone, Im new here

  1. #1

    Hello everyone, Im new here

    Hi everyone and thank you already in advance, it's great to know there are people out there who understand
    I decided to join here and reach out because my partner is suffering from depression and anxiety, and I am not sure how to best support her. We recently moved to the UK and are a bit isolated, especially my wife as she is not working and thus has not made any friends yet.
    My wife has been suffering from depression since her teens, and it has gotten worse again in the last few years and I fear she might be heading for another breakdown. This is partially because her health has been declining (progressive genetic disease), but also a log history of depression and anxiety.
    She talks to me, which is good, but I am finding myself more and more hopeless myself becase I am not sure how to support her. She has an appointment with a councillor in a few weeks time but it just seems like so far away...
    Her family are well meaning but completely counter-productive and if I turned to them I'd make things worse because they'd call her non stop and suffocate her.
    Sorry for the long initial post but I tried to summarise the situation as best as possible

  2. #2
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome to DWD. It's lovely that you've joined to try to help her - In our relationship it's my husband who has depression/anxiety and so I'm in your shoes so to speak, so I do understand.
    Where have you moved from? Have you/has she looked on things like facebook etc for local groups which might help? What about any hobbies she has to get to know others? What's her genetic disease if you don't mind me asking? Maybe a support group? Living with progressive illness is pretty sh(t tbh - I know I am and I know others here who are too and it can take every ounce to hold together the "I'm fine" to others.
    Has she seen a GP? If she wanted to, then she could join here too and we have enough private sections that I could allocate you each an area so you could talk privately if wanted/needed..


  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (03-07-18),YellowStarling (04-07-18)

  4. #3
    Moderator OldMike's Avatar
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    Hi YellowStarling, living with a person with depression/anxiety isn't easy, I live alone so am not best placed to offer advice, there are other members in a similar position who'll offer excellent advice. It is good that you can discuss it with your partner and are standing by her. You'll find us a very friendly group. Is your partner on any sort of medication?
    71 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"
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  5. The Following User Says Thank You to OldMike For This Useful Post:

    YellowStarling (04-07-18)

  6. #4
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    Hi, Starling, and welcome
    ‘When all else fails, use glitter instead’

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Paula For This Useful Post:

    YellowStarling (04-07-18)

  8. #5
    Hi Starling....welcome to the forum.

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    YellowStarling (04-07-18)

  10. #6
    Junior Member
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    Hi, an understanding partner is a big positive for someone with depression. Your support may not always seem to be appreciated but it is an important part of journey and you’ll win in the long run.

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    YellowStarling (04-07-18)

  12. #7
    Thank you all very much, it's really good to be able to write it down for a start and to know that we are not alone with this. We moved from an english speaking country, and she has Cystic Fibrosis, which has gotten worse over the last year, and which is adding to the depression. At the weekend I got quite upset when I found out that she feels like she is disappointing me and that she is useless, which is not how I feel at all.
    She has spoken to her hospital staff and the psychologist there, and she is asking for her medication to be reviewed because it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference (fluoxetine,40). I think I will tell her about this site, I just hope she won't think that I went behind her back which I would never do, but maybe writing it down will help her too for a start. Seriosuly, thank you so much for the warm welcome

  13. #8
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I sympathise very much with your wife when things are getting worse. There are so many horrible thoughts that keep raising their ugly heads - feeling a burden, being "useless", how fast will things deteriorate, loss of independence just to name a few. My biggest advice is to talk to her. Tell her what's going on in your head and that may be enough for her to feel that she can talk more openly about how she feels.

    How long has she been on the Fluoxetine?


  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    OldMike (04-07-18)

  15. #9
    Hi Suzi,
    I mentioned this site to her and she might also look into it because she doesn't want to feel like this. It is ironic that you mentioned the word "burden", because that is exactly the word that comes up a lot. I think it's great that we can both find a comfortable space here because it might help us a lot on this journey.
    She has been on Fluoxetine for years, long before we met each other.

  16. #10
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I have degenerative illnesses and it's something that I've always been aware of - each time there is something else that adds in or changes or that I have to find a new way of dealing with it makes me feel more and more like a burden to my husband and my children. I totally get that's how she feels.
    If she's been on the same meds at the same dose for a while then it might need adjusting.
    I think it's awesome that you two are talking about this and that you obviously love her so very much!


  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Suzi For This Useful Post:

    YellowStarling (05-07-18)

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