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Thread: Overcoming a negative event

  1. #31
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    . Can you talk to Citizens Advice about what you need to do?
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  2. #32
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    I'm glad the counselling is going ok - have you been honest about how hard you are finding the advice to follow?
    Talk to the CAB and get some advice lovely...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  3. #33
    raininghail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    I'm glad the counselling is going ok - have you been honest about how hard you are finding the advice to follow?
    Talk to the CAB and get some advice lovely...
    I'm pretty OK with the process/knowledge side and at worse case, I can have a benefits advisor at my housing association do everything for me. I don't want to call them just yet because if I do it myself, I can stick my chest out and say I did it. Sounds a little silly but it's all part of help myself. I've the number I need to call for ESA ready for when the office opens later today.

    I have only had one in-depth session with the counsellor - the first appointment was more of an introduction. I see her next week (due to a clash of medical appointments) so I've another week to try to put some of her advice into practise. In short, she gave me ideas and suggestions for how to break down tasks that overwhelm me into smaller chunks but I'm struggling with giving myself that push to get started. For example, if I say I'm going to wash the dishes, I might go to the kitchen even put the dishes in the sink and then a little voice will go, "why bother? they'll only get messy again" and all the energy I had to wash the dishes just disappears and I'm back on the sofa watching TV.

    I've another week before I see her so I've time. And, if it doesn't pan out then I can let her know and we can go from there.

  4. #34
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    Doesn't sound silly at all!

    How are you today?
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


  5. #35
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    One step at a time, lovely, you will get there
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  6. #36
    raininghail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
    Doesn't sound silly at all!

    How are you today?
    Sorry, its taken me a while to reply back. This month decided to unload a whole lot of crap on me.

    After finding out at such short notice I had to apply for ESA, Housing Benefit decided to re-evaluate my claim and say I didn't qualify. I don't know where they got their figures from but they were estimating my income as much higher than it is (given I'm only on benefits.) I've managed to get that all sorted now but there was a period of about a week and a half where I was stressing every day over money and how I was going to cover my bills.

    I still need to decide what I'm going to do about work. In short, due to amount of time I've been off, it is highly likely I will lose my job if I do not return at the start of August. While I don't like the job any more and feel it has play a part in my illness, I also don't like the idea of having 2 dismissals back to back on my CV. It feels like I'd be throwing the last 3 years down the drain. Yet if I rush back to work, I could make myself worse and since it would only be a part time wage, I'd struggle to cope moneywise. (I'm still waiting to hear if I will be awarded anything for PIP)

    Sometimes I think sure I could go back in August part time and others I'm like "are you insane? the littlest thing makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out." My counsellor thinks the reason I'm having a hard time with this is because whatever I do, it's not really 100% my decision and I've been back into a corner by this deadline. I have a little time so I'm hoping my decision for PIP will come earlier than expected so I know what's going on with that before I make a final decision.

  7. #37
    Princess Sparkles Paula's Avatar
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    It might be worth contacting Citizens Advice. They’ll be able to do a benefits check, help you with budgeting and talk to you about your rights wrt your employer, returning to work and what’s the right thing to do
    The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

  8. #38
    Boss Lady ;) Suzi's Avatar
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    You really have been through it...
    Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!


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